Lindsey's Story

“I had very easy pregnancies,” Lindsey began. “Minus the big babies. I have very big babies.”

The obvious follow up question was asked.

“So my first was 10 lbs. 9 oz. My second was 9 lbs. 5 oz. Then my third was 11 lbs., and my last was 10lbs. 7 oz.,” Lindsey said. “Not exactly easy on me, for sure, but not so easy on Dr. Vandenberg either.”

We had more questions for Lindsey. Here are the answers she supplied about her provider while simultaneously caring for four little ones.

How did you find Dr. Vandenberg?

Before I had my first, a friend of mine was going to Women’s Care and really loved it. So I started with Dr. Reed and loved her, but she went on maternity leave and set me up with her colleague and friend, Dr. Vandenberg. Dr. Reed thought I would mesh well with Dr. Vandenberg, and I must say she was exactly what I needed in a doctor. The first time I met her I just knew. With your first pregnancy, everything is new and a little scary, but she made me feel so comfortable right from the start. Dr. Vandenberg did all four of my c-sections.

How would you describe Dr. Vandenberg?

I would describe Dr. Vandenberg as someone who’s easy to talk to. She truly cares; I honestly feel very cared for by her. She's someone that will listen and kind of weigh out options with you. And one thing that I really liked is I never felt rushed, even though I know she's a very busy lady. Oh, and I ask a lot of questions. I mean, I go in with typed stuff. I like to be thorough. Plus I’m a talker. She never once made me feel rushed, and she always wanted me to leave feeling confident in my decisions. Just such a sweet and caring provider. I’d say she’s a perfect provider for someone that is a little bit nervous, as I was.

Any particular moments that stand out about Dr. Vandenberg?

Oh, yes. So many times she reassured me, and that has always meant so much. And the times she stepped in for the nurse and hugged me during the spinals. I always get emotional the day of my c-section, and Dr. Vandenberg always takes good care of me. I didn't realize how delicate she was with me through my pregnancies until I met other providers that were very, very good but way more blunt. 

Anything else you’d like to add?

It seems everyone knows Dr. Vandenberg. Once at a splash pad three of us moms got to talking about our OBs. We started laughing because we all had the same story: each of us was a patient of Dr. Vandenberg’s and we all loved her! Even at the hospital, nurses would say, ‘We love Dr. Vandenberg. She’s our doctor too!’ I think she's just all around an amazing doctor. She feels like part of our family, obviously. Maria has been there for every child coming into this world, and it's just so special.

 

The Circle of Care: The Patients Speak

Nurse Practitioner Caroline Abel on the Circle of Care at Women's Care of Wisconsin:

"Empowerment is at the heart of our Circle of Care. I work in partnership with my patients to create individualized plans of care that help them to be successful in their healthcare journey. I learn from you and you learn from me. Together, we can get you where you need to be."

Today, during National Nurse Practitioner Week, we share Macy's comments about her NP, which speak to the importance of the relationship between patient and provider:

I have been to see Caroline, APNP, several times for different reasons. Caroline is AMAZING! She makes you feel comfortable the minute she walks in the room and says hello. Caroline listened to my concerns and helped me make informative decisions regarding my health. She is beyond understanding and very knowledgeable. Women’s Care of Wisconsin is lucky to have such a wonderful provider. Thank you Caroline! 

~Macy B. 

Kendra’s Story

“I really felt in my spirit after having such a good midwife experience with my first child, which was a difficult pregnancy, that I wanted that same experience with my second pregnancy.”

Here’s how Kendra found Jenny Taubel. And as they say, the rest is history:

I originally started with a midwife at Women's Care who is no longer there. And then I started with another who changed roles and was no longer delivering babies. Because of recommendations I had from friends, I actually scheduled an appointment with an OB, but I really felt in my spirit after having such a good midwife experience with my first child—which was a difficult pregnancy—that I wanted that same experience with my second pregnancy.

There were two choices for midwives, and simply put I went with the one that was closer to me. That was Jenny, and I cannot explain how grateful I am to her.

I have a really cool story that speaks to Jenny’s care. I had a very difficult pregnancy. I had to go to the ER seven times in two weeks. Oh, my God, it was awful. Every time it was late in the night or early in the morning, so my husband would stay home with our four-year-old. I’d drag myself out of bed and call a friend, and be crying the whole way there. If you want to share this next part, I don’t mind: I had urinary retention. I had to have a catheter bag, and then the catheter got infected, so I had to get it taken out.

This was on a Friday, and I know Jenny doesn’t work on Fridays. She sent me a message that said, “I’m thinking about you, and I want to tell you how brave you are.” Sending this little note to me, just when I needed it, solidified my choice even though my pregnancy could be considered high risk.

Jenny went above and beyond in other ways, too. She’s very hands-on, and as soon as we talked about urinary retention, she was helping me find solutions. Wrote me a referral right away for physical therapy. Got me set up with the urology group, and even called there to see if I could get in sooner.

I just feel Jenny went the extra mile that perhaps not every provider would. I can’t say enough about her. She supports you, she loves and encourages you, she builds you up. She’s your biggest champion. When I was going through a dark season in my pregnancy and was very sick, every week Jenny continued to encourage me. “I'm proud of you,” she’d say each time. I felt so cared for.

I was induced when I was three weeks early (preeclampsia), so Jenny wasn’t able to deliver the baby. My baby went straight into the NICU, which was hard. Jenny came to visit me in the hospital, and she sat and talked to me about all my concerns, how I was doing, the NICU experience. And then she said to me, “Make sure when you come see me that you bring your baby. I can’t wait to meet her.”

That was really precious to me. When I went for my six-week appointment, I brought Mira, and it really felt like it came full circle.

Amanda’s Story

“This is baby’s life, my family’s life. This is our future.”

Amanda’s story is unique, of course. It’s also universal, this story of a mother who needed answers and endeavored to find them.

And her message to every expectant mom, simple yet profound, should be emblazoned on t-shirts, billboards, mountaintops.

In her own words, this is Amanda’s journey:

I have a history of two normal labors and deliveries, but not the best experience afterwards. Both times I had retained placenta (when the placenta is not expelled from the uterus following delivery, which leaves the mother susceptible to infection and extreme blood loss). For my third pregnancy, at twenty weeks, I went to my provider and, following a scan, they told me I had placenta previa, a condition where the placenta attaches low in the uterus and partially or completely covers the cervix, potentially causing severe bleeding in the mother before, during or after delivery and leads to a c-section. The provider just said it was common and normally resolves by delivery. We were just grateful everything was fine with the baby at the time and didn’t fully process the ‘placenta previa.’

Of course, at home I looked up placenta previa. I found there were different types of placenta previa— marginal (partially covering the cervix) or complete (fully covering the cervix)—and that distinction mattered. Marginal placenta previa resolved itself in about 90% of the cases, but with complete previa, there was more risk of significant premature bleeding and a necessary c-section. In my research, it seemed other providers gave patients measurements of how much it was covering the cervix and restrictions to try and prevent maternal bleeding.

I called my provider back.

“We’re not sure, but we’ll have you back in the third trimester and check it again. Really not a concern.”

This is where I had a gut feeling to get a second opinion.

Back in 2021, I had a miscarriage, and my previous OB provider had retired. Dr. Swift, although 45 minutes from where I lived, was the only OB I found willing to fit me into her schedule and helped me through that difficult time. So that was my connection to her, and while I hadn’t seen her since (I wanted a provider closer to home), I scheduled an appointment with her at 24 weeks for a second opinion. I was really just wanting ‘piece of mind’ to see if the placenta had started to move and there was less chance of bleeding, but she came in after the ultrasound with more than I wanted or expected to hear. 

Along with stating the placenta previa was definitely ‘complete,’ she said it looked ‘spicy and membrany’ and alerted me to the possibility I might develop a rare condition called ‘vasa previa.’ This means the baby’s (fetal) vessels go over the cervix and can lead to severe fetal blood loss and she told me I might end up losing my uterus because of what she termed a “sticky placenta.” 

Swift said be ready for a 36-week baby and potentially the loss of my uterus.

Okay, let’s just say I was kind of upset and shocked with the news. I was just expecting confirmation of the placenta previa and had hoped it had already started moving. I had never heard of ‘vasa previa’ before and I didn’t know that my placenta sticking to the uterus was even a possibility. 

As it would turn out, unfortunately, Dr. Swift was correct. I actually had a bi-lobed placenta, meaning I had two placentas, the main posterior one (and the only one identified on the 20-week ultrasound) and a secondary anterior accessory lobe. Between those two placentas there’s a membrane of baby’s blood vessels over the cervix that wasn’t protected by placenta—Type 2 vasa previa.

What that means is if you go into labor (cervix dilating, water breaks, contractions) or strain too much, the vessels rupture and hemorrhage and the baby can bleed out in less than 10 minutes, causing death or brain damage.

I was in denial, upset and frustrated that the other doctor hadn’t told me that. I was overwhelmed and anxious and had no idea what questions to ask at the time. 

I didn’t think I wanted to see Dr. Swift anymore. I was hopeful she was mistaken, the original provider correct. 

So, I went back to my original provider and after a couple more scans, they confirmed what Swift had said. I mean, they confirmed it technically, but as far as I’m concerned Swift gets credit for the diagnosis. Without her intervention, no one would have known about it yet. That’s the scary thing: my provider originally said they weren’t going to recheck the placenta until 32 weeks and in my research, many times the exposed vessel isn’t seen that late in the pregnancy as the baby's head is in the way. If this diagnosis was missed, it could have been devastating to baby.

As much as I didn’t want to believe Dr. Swift, she ended up saving our baby.

My original provider referred me to the maternal fetal medicine (MFM) specialists. They re-confirmed and said I’d be hospitalized between 28-32 weeks, with a goal of a c-section at 34 weeks (the reason for inpatient hospitalization is in case of premature rupture of the membranes and fetal vessels, the only chance of baby survival is to be close to an operating room).

I was still processing: How do I go from originally just placenta previa and a 90% chance of any issues resolving themselves to a worst-case scenario of being hospitalized and having a c-section after four weeks of being inpatient? I was still in denial and had two other kids at home to take care of.

I got the feeling from my providers that this was rare and scary, even for them. My anxiety intensified after seeing this MFM knowing I’d have a NICU baby at 34 weeks. I was grateful baby was healthy but felt so bad baby would be forced out so early and wanted to see if there were other options.

This is baby’s life, my family’s life. This is our future. If I start bleeding or go into premature labor, will baby die? That would be devastating, and on my conscience—forever. If baby is born so early and survives, will baby have health issues or learning disabilities? 

I really needed a provider that was confident and that I could trust. So, I thought I’d take steps to make that so. I’m very much an advocate for myself and just wanted to make sure that I was seeing the right doctor and that this rare complication was being treated properly. After the diagnosis was confirmed, I was up late every night for weeks doing my own research. 

And here’s what I found: older research confirmed that the 28-32 inpatient and 34-week delivery was indeed the recommended timeline. But I looked at every scientific article I could find and discovered that newer research suggested a different timeline was plausible, one that got you to 36 weeks or more.

Finding those studies was one thing, interpreting them another. 

I decided to reach out to the authors of these scholarly papers I had researched to understand my situation better. What’s the worst thing that can happen? They don’t respond?

Guess what? I talked with a maternal fetal medicine doctor from one of the Harvard hospitals in Boston, a leader in the field. He called me on a Sunday evening and we talked for an hour and a half and went over all his research and advice. Another expert was from Houston; he got in touch with me late at night after he was done seeing patients. Yet another MFM from Chicago called me on a Saturday afternoon!

The expert doctors doing the research for this are so passionate, and so generous, and it made such a difference in my anxiety to be informed.

I had a gut feeling about this, and followed it through. I guess this is one of the main messages I want people to take from my story: when you have that gut feeling, listen to your instincts, always listen to your intuition, because it will serve you well. If I would have ignored it, our outcome would have been very different.

The expert from Boston actually came out of retirement to research vasa previa more, because many babies are being born too prematurely unnecessarily since so many providers are scared of this condition. If vasa previa goes undiagnosed, that’s the worst-case scenario. I learned that a high percentage of situations where you go into labor at home or your water breaks will result in the death of baby. If it’s diagnosed, there’s a very high chance that baby will be fine. He wanted to spread the research that patients can make it further and can get to 36 or 37 weeks safely in uncomplicated cases.

He gave me comfort, telling me now that I had been diagnosed (thank you Dr. Swift), the hard part was done. I just needed to find the right provider.

Long story short, I went back to the original provider and maternal fetal medicine specialists, and they were going off the older data of early hospitalization and delivery at 34 weeks. They weren’t receptive to the new data and said we should just get baby out and let NICU take over. There’s a big difference in a baby born at 34 weeks needing NICU vs 36 weeks (if I could make it that far). I felt like a number, being treated from a page in a textbook from twenty years ago. I was nervous to go “inpatient’ under this provider because I knew I wouldn’t be in control and didn’t trust them to deliver baby even earlier. I’m sure they had the best intentions at heart. Maybe it was just me, being a difficult patient. I didn't want to make anybody uncomfortable. I just wanted to find a provider that was more confident and that I could trust to be in control of mine and baby’s lives.

At 28 weeks, I had a bleeding episode after going for a walk and playing with my toddler. On the way to the hospital I was so scared that they’d deliver baby unnecessarily or keep me there until delivery that I had my husband pull over at a gas station to use the bathroom and the bleeding had stopped and baby was kicking (the bleeding was from the placental and not fetal vessels). I do not recommend this—in hindsight this was very risky and I was lucky. This made me realize the reality and danger of the situation. My anxiety about bleeding and losing the baby after this episode was pretty bad. I was grateful for the distraction of work and my other kids and thankful for the help of grandparents!

My gut, once again, was telling me something, namely that I shouldn’t be going back to my original providers. 

The next day I scheduled appointments with MFM doctors in Madison and Milwaukee to see if they were up to date on the latest research. I figured a month away from home being inpatient was a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things to travel further if it meant a healthy baby.

As part of my research, I joined an international Facebook group on vasa previa and asked a question: ‘Anyone in Wisconsin have this, and where did you go?’ And there was somebody who delivered at Women’s Care at 37 weeks, and she happened to have Dr. Reed. 37 weeks!!

I called Women’s Care to make an appointment with Dr. Swift again, but because of needing to get in asap and her being booked, I got to see Dr. Reed. 

I actually didn’t tell Dr. Reed anything about my research. She came in prepared with all of my previous history and was up to date on all the latest research for vasa without me even saying anything. She thought we could aim for 36/37 week delivery and 34/35 week inpatient as long as there were no complications. I asked her all the questions I had after doing my research and all of her answers followed the most recent data. She said we didn’t even need to see MFM. I was impressed! 

Finally! I felt instant relief. I knew Women’s Care and ThedaCare-Neenah was where baby and I needed to be. 

I switched to Dr. Swift since she had made the original diagnosis. She agreed with Dr. Reed that I could go to 36-37 weeks and was also up to date on the latest research. She treated me like a person and looked at my clinical situation and not just a textbook. At one of my appointments while I was hooked up to the contraction and fetal monitor, she came in and spent her entire lunch with me, and I know she’s a busy lady. The first thing Dr. Swift asked me was about my mental state.

‘How are you feeling?’ she asked.

No one had ever asked me that before. 

She was very informative and treated me like a friend. She cared about making the best possible decisions together for my situation. I knew I could trust her and that she had mine and baby’s best interest in mind and I could just sense her confidence when she told me not to worry, that it would be okay (I know that’s not always true but still comforting).

I also saw Dr. Vandenberg a few times during my hospital stay as well as other providers and I can tell you without hesitation: Women’s Care doctors are in a different league. Their compassion. Their confidence. Their knowledge. Their bedside manner. I wish all patients could experience this level of care.

I went inpatient at ThedaCare-Neenah at 33 weeks and 4 days, a little earlier just because I was anxious with previous providers wanting to admit earlier and I'd have a hard time forgiving myself if something happened at home. I was monitored three times a day with NST testing (fetal and contraction monitors). Baby gave us a few heart rate scares and had contractions daily, but the doctors always remained calm and encouraging.

I forgot to mention I’m a big wimp with blood draws and IVs, so I was terrified of being cut open for a c- section. Again, Dr. Swift and the nurses were amazing and encouraging that everything would be okay and always went above and beyond to explain things and ease my mind. Dr. Swift stopped in daily to check on me and chat. Not only did I appreciate her as a well-educated doctor, but also as an incredible person being a friend to me in the hospital.

I was at the hospital for 3 weeks. Living on the Labor and Delivery floor I got to witness, firsthand, top notch doctors and nurses that truly care. Our precious little vasa previa survivor, Thomas James, was delivered June 12, 36 weeks plus one day. Dr. Swift and I picked this goal date and we made it!

Seven pounds, 14 ounces. A month early and no NICU time. Relief, grateful, exhausted—so many emotions. All the research and anxiety was worth it.

After months of worry I felt oddly as calm as possible for the surgery. I was able to put all my faith in Dr. Swift and knew that I had chosen the best provider for us. The delivery had its moments. After I got the spinal, my blood pressure went down and that affected baby, but Dr. Swift was very quick at getting him out. My placenta was indeed sticking to the uterus (something termed accreta). She warned me ahead of time she may need to take my uterus and do a hysterectomy to prevent major hemorrhaging, but she was able to get it out at the last second and save my uterus and a blood transfusion. Dr. Swift communicated exactly what she was doing and she and her team kept me calm and informed the entire time.

I did ask doctor to take photos of my placenta and after seeing the multiple large exposed fetal vessels was humbled by how lucky we were and that Dr. Swift caught this problem. Dr. Swift is an amazingly talented surgeon. I was always confident she had everything under control. And she was fast!

I feel like she saved my baby, saved my fertility, saved us NICU time, and helped get me through a long hospital stay. Without her diagnosis and care, my sweet little baby boy, Thomas, may not be here today. 

She saved us both.

Photography by Erika Krause

 

 

Achieving Your Ideal Birth: One Mother's Story

Following the birth of her daughter Emory and her son Everett, both delivered by an OB/GYN she called phenomenal, Natalie Demler was greeted with the news that her longtime provider was leaving the area.

She found out three weeks before her due date.

"I'd been with him since I turned 21," Natalie said. "We had a really close bond; he was with us during our miscarriage. I was pretty devastated that he was leaving and worried about how things were going to go. That's when I found Kay."

In her search for a new provider, Natalie contacted Women's Care of Wisconsin, and the receptionist felt that midwife Kay Weina would be a great fit for her. Natalie asked around and heard nothing but good things ("Kay's amazing!" "You'll love her!").

At 35 weeks, Natalie met Weina for the first time and transferred her care to the midwife.

"She hugged me, and immediately asked if I wanted a tour around the facility and to look at the room," Natalie said. "She was so personable and right away I had a feeling that everything was going to be fine, that she was going to take good care of me and the baby."

Weina made clear that whatever vision Natalie had for the birth was the way they were going to make it happen.

"Birth is sacred and spiritual for every woman, and it's every woman's own unique experience to bring a child in the world," Natalie said. "My husband and I prayed every day that we'd find the perfect provider, one who believes in you and helps you through intense moments. 

I knew Kay was going to be there for me. She made me feel safe."

*    *    *

Kay delivered Elsie Rae on July 13, 2023

"Kay was phenomenal during labor, cheering me on. Jake was encouraging me the whole time. I focused in on what I needed to do. With Kay and Jake's support, Elsie was born into a room full of love and joy." 

Midwives: Care Throughout the Lifespan

When thinking of a midwife, the first thought of many is the extraordinary care they provide to mother and child before, during and after delivery. But let us not forget the expert and compassionate care they provide to gynecologic patients as well. Today, we share Diana’s story:

“I was a nurse for 40 years and worked with Jenny Taubel when she was just getting started. In working with her, it was so easy to see the rapport that she had with her patients. It just so happened at that time I didn’t have an OB/GYN, and one day I just asked her if she’d be my provider. ‘Of course!’ she said, and that’s kind of how we started. She’s such a sweet person, so easy to get along with and easy to talk to. She listens to your story, listens to the problem, and then she gives you the options. And she takes her time with you and forms a bond. Having been through some tough times herself, she has such empathy. I drive from Fond du Lac to see her and I’d drive a lot further if I had to. I just love her to death.”

Note: Diana has been retired for three years now. With grandkids involved in sports and in the arts, she keeps busy indeed. She and her husband love to ride their motorcycle. They have been involved with a group that rides for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital, 232 bikes strong and growing. This year riders raised $1,300,000 for St. Jude.

Tayler’s Story: A First-Time Mom Calls the Midwife

For National Midwifery Week (October 6-12, 2024), we reached out to patients and asked them if they would share their midwife experience. Tayler responded just as we had hoped (“I’d absolutely love to!”) and generously spoke about how she found her provider, Elise Gessler.

Note: Elise has stopped her OB practice and is working in the role of a nurse practitioner at our Appleton clinic. She can still see pregnant patients for occasional visits but is no longer available as a delivering provider. Elise still provides care for women throughout the lifespan.

How did you arrive at using the services of a midwife for your pregnancy?

I started with a lot of information on the internet because, honestly, I didn't really know anyone that had used a midwife before. But I had heard a lot of good things about them, like how they are an extra layer of support during the birthing process. And being a first-time mom, I was like, oh, I need all the support I can get! I just hopped on Google and was looking at different midwives, and I kept seeing Women's Care Wisconsin. Fantastic reviews online. So I was like, okay, let's give it a try here. I requested Elise Gessler after seeing her on the website and looking at the reviews of people that had seen her.

And how did it work out for you?

It was such a good experience with Elise, because she was so involved. An important thing about a midwife that I learned through my research was that no matter what time of day or night you're giving birth, they're going to be there. I wanted that consistent person that was going to be with me, for my appointments, through all the struggles and whatnot, and to deliver my baby. Elise was that consistent person, that extra layer of support that I wanted.

What else can you share about your experience?

So I made my appointment, and then I saw Elise for the first time, and she kind of just explained to me what her role was in the birthing process, how I would be seeing her for all of my appointments, what to expect. Anything that I should need while I was pregnant, I could reach out to her. She was very available, which I really loved as a first-time mom when everything seems really scary. You're just not sure what warrants concern and what is completely normal. And so I liked that she was always available for anything, for questions, concerns, whatever. Yeah, at that first appointment I was like, this is fantastic! Exactly what I want. And then throughout my pregnancy I had some complications. She was always very supportive and always let me know my options. And it was always up to me how I wanted to proceed. But I really leaned into her expertise and fully trusted her opinion.

What was the delivery experience like?

At delivery I was induced, and then I actually ended up being in active labor for four hours, which is like the max amount of time they allow you to push before they have to intervene. That's a really long time to push, by the way. And I will never forget what Elise said: “We have 10 minutes to get this baby out or we need to call the doctor.” If you've never met Elise before, she's a very soft-spoken person. Delivery Elise is different. She was the intense cheerleader. “You got this Tayler, you can do this! Just think about her coming out and getting to hold that little girl that you've been waiting for for the last nine months!” Honestly, her words are what did it for me. I pushed as hard as I possibly could, and it happened. I truly believe the pep talk that she gave me right towards the end was what pushed me across the finish line.

Bet you can’t summarize things in a single sentence, can you?

Now I have this perfect girl, my baby Shay, and this perfect boy, my stepson, so I feel very content.

5 Myths About Midwives

Even though midwifery has evolved alongside today’s modern health care system, many myths surrounding this profession are based in common misunderstandings that are centuries old. At Women’s Care of Wisconsin, we believe education is a powerful tool, so we’ve teamed up with our three certified nurse midwives to set the record straight! 

Jenny Taubel, Kay Weina and Elise Gessler have more than 50 years of combined experience as certified nurse midwives and are passionate about the work they do.

Myth #1: Midwives are just untrained labor coaches.

Despite this myth’s popularity, certified nurse midwives often start out as labor and delivery nurses. While labor and delivery nurses are required to hold a bachelor’s in Nursing, certified nurse midwives go back to school to get their Master of Science degree in Nursing (MSN). They are also required to pass a national certification exam and maintain that certification by meeting continuing education requirements.  Combined with their training and medical expertise, this qualifies them to deliver babies.

“I think a lot of nurse midwives were labor and delivery nurses to begin with, like us,” said Kay, who was a labor and delivery nurse for 10 years before going back to school. “When you’re a labor and delivery nurse, you get that patient to delivery, and when you get to that point, the doctor comes in to catch the baby. I always thought -- well gosh! -- that’s the best part! I could do that!”

“I like to think of our role as an OB-GYN Nurse Practitioner, with the added special perk of delivering babies,” said Jenny.

Myth #2: Midwives can only deliver babies at home.

“We do not deliver at home, but we can refer you to some of the licensed professional midwives in the area that would provide you with that type of care,” Jenny said.

According to the American Midwifery Certification Board, 94.1% of CNM-attended births occurred in hospitals in 2017. That same year, 3.2% occurred in freestanding birth centers and just 2.6% occurred in homes.

At Women’s Care of Wisconsin, our certified nurse midwives’ practice is strictly hospital births only, with Kay primarily delivering at the ThedaCare Regional Medical Center-Neenah and Jenny going back and forth between ThedaCare Regional Medical Center-Appleton and ThedaCare Regional Medical Center-Neenah. Elise has stopped her OB practice and is working in the role of a nurse practitioner. She can still see pregnant patients for occasional visits but is no longer available as a delivering provider. Elise works out of Women’s Care of Wisconsin’s Appleton clinic and still provides care for women throughout the lifespan.  

Myth #3: If I choose to have a midwife, my birth has to be all natural.

“I think a lot of people wonder, if you choose a midwife, do you have to have a natural birth? And I think a lot of women probably seek out midwifery because they’re looking for a non-medicated or low-intervention birth, but we certainly can provide medications,” Kay said.

While you can choose to have a natural birth with your midwife, certified nurse midwives are licensed, independent health care providers who can prescribe medications in all 50 states. This includes IV medications and epidurals, which can be an option during labor even for women who originally wanted a natural birth but change their mind during the delivery.

“I think the biggest thing about midwifery care is that we want to listen to the women, we want to give them options, and we want your birth experience to be the most positive one because you’re telling your birth stories forever!” said Kay.

“I like to think of myself as a ‘travel guide’ through a woman’s pregnancy, labor, and delivery journey,” said Jenny. “I’m here to offer comfort, support, encouragement, education, and help in making decisions when needed.”

Myth #4: If I choose to have a midwife, I am putting my baby at risk if something goes wrong.

If you’re considering working with a midwife, but worried about what would happen to your baby if something goes wrong, you can relax! Our certified nurse midwives partner with Women’s Care of Wisconsin OB-GYN physicians through collaboration and referral to provide the best possible care.

“We have a great group of very supportive physicians that are on call and available to us around the clock, so if you develop a concern, such as high blood pressure, preterm labor, or a problem during labor, we have those physicians to consult with,” Jenny said.

While this doesn’t necessarily mean your certified nurse midwife will transfer care, it could mean you will have a team of people working with you to ensure you have a healthy pregnancy rather than working with just one healthcare provider.

“There are some situations where a pregnancy starts off as low risk, but a new problem causes it to become high risk, and then we transfer care to the physicians,” said Jenny.

Certified nurse midwives are also available to assist physicians in the event of a c-section.

“If patients have had a previous cesarean delivery, and would like to schedule a repeat C-section, I can still see them for prenatal care and be there to assist in the surgery with the MD, which is really nice,” said Jenny.

Myth #5: Midwives only work with women who are pregnant.

“We see patients from adolescence all the way up to menopause,” said Elise.

While many people think of midwifery as a practice solely focused on pregnancy and childbirth, nurse midwifery actually encompasses a full range of gynecological health care services.

“We offer contraceptive counseling for all methods and procedures to insert or remove IUDs and Nexplanon, screen for and treat STIs or vaginal infections, do preventative wellness exams, and treat menopausal issues,” Elise said.

The services midwives offer also include primary care, gynecologic and family planning services, preconception care and postpartum care.

If you’re interested in seeing one of our certified nurse midwives, you can schedule your first appointment by calling or texting 920.729.7105 or request an appointment online by visiting our website.

What is Endometrial Ablation?

Abnormal uterine bleeding, in the form of heavy menstrual flow or irregular cycles, is one of the most common complaints that bring women in to see a gynecologist. A procedure called an endometrial ablation is a minimally invasive treatment option that uses technology to destroy the lining of the uterus to reduce menstrual flow. It can be performed right in your doctor’s office without the use of general anesthesia and with minimal down time.

Endometrial ablation in general refers to any procedure that destroys (i.e., ablates) the endometrium (uterine lining). When this technique was initially introduced, laser was used as the energy source. This limited the performance of endometrial ablation to operating rooms that were equipped with expensive and oftentimes cumbersome laser equipment.

More recently, newer ways of achieving quick, effective destruction of the uterine lining using other energy sources, such as heated fluid and radiofrequency electricity, have allowed physicians to offer endometrial ablation safely in an office setting.

Endometrial ablation is not appropriate for every woman suffering from abnormal uterine bleeding. Premenopausal patients with a normal uterus, without evidence of cancer or pre-cancer and who have completed childbearing, are considered candidates for this procedure. Your physician will run tests, such as a pelvic ultrasound and a biopsy of the lining of the uterus, to determine the advisability of ablation in your particular case.

Endometrial ablation itself does not provide effective contraception and any pregnancy that occurs after a woman has had an ablation is extremely dangerous. Therefore, your doctor will often recommend permanent sterilization as well if you have not already undergone tubal ligation, or your partner has not had a vasectomy.

For more information, click here. To schedule an appointment, call or text 920.729.7105.

The Circle of Care: The Patients Speak

In a recent blog we asked our providers to share what the Circle of Care means to them. Following this, we asked our patients to do the same. Some of their stories are brief, some lengthy, but all contain powerful messages and are told with an authentic, genuine voice.

Today, we share Paula's story:

“I needed to have an in-office surgery performed by Dr. Yarroch for some postmenopausal bleeding I had been having. Needless to say, I was extremely scared as I’d never had this problem before, but the staff at Women’s Care was unbelievably compassionate. A week before the procedure Sarah, Dr. Yarroch’s nurse, called me and explained what was going to be done, explaining that it could be performed under nitrous oxide. On the morning of the procedure, Heather (the CMA) got me checked in and again went over exactly what was going to be happening. For whatever reason the nitrous didn’t work as planned for me, possibly because I was so anxious, so after the nerve blocks were placed, Sarah stood next to me throughout the entire procedure, explaining exactly what Dr. Yarroch was doing and why. Whenever there was a gap in the conversation, she continued to ask me questions to keep the conversation going just to keep my mind off what was happening and it worked like a charm. In no time at all I heard Dr. Yarroch say 'Okay, that’s it, we’re finished.' I couldn’t believe I had made it through. Dr. Yarroch, Sarah and Heather kept reassuring me throughout the entire procedure of how well I was doing and how much longer it would be before we were finished. All three of these women made what was an extremely stressful situation for me so much more bearable. 

I truthfully can’t say enough good things about these women!”

Meet Adriana Schaufelberger

“What do you think your patients appreciate most about you?”

She didn't expect that question right off the bat.

“Ooooh. Not sure,” she said. “Maybe that I try to make things lighter and take any embarrassment out of it. There’s no shyness here. Tell me what you’re thinking. Out with it. Go for it. And that’s where we’ll both laugh. I think that’s a big thing.”

Thus begins a discussion with the board-certified OB/GYN, someone who truly loves every part of her interactions with patients at Women’s Care of Wisconsin.

The ability to connect is clearly a strength of Schaufelberger’s. Her patients feel this in their first visit and understand in short order one of her essential mantras.

“I’m not about rushing. I don’t like to be rushed. I don’t like to rush my patients,” said Schaufelberger. “My routine is to come into the room, sit down, and then . . . we talk. And if you cry, there’s a good chance I’m going to cry with you." 

Schaufelberger loves to talk and is laser focused on chatting about patient care, yet she does sprinkle in the personal: she’s an identical twin, first generation Hispanic, who worked 40 hours a week while taking full credit loads to earn her two degrees.

“I started out in nursing school, getting into Purdue’s nursing program by accident. I didn't apply for it, but I was in. So I took it as an omen,” said Schaufelberger.

She loved everything about nursing (“I was good at it too!”) but a nudge from her mentor put her on a different path. She was told quite simply that she should go to medical school. Her response was perhaps typical of a different era.

“I’m a girl. I can’t be a doctor,” was her reply.

After a sideways glance accompanied by a “Seriously!” and then a more benevolent “Of course you can!" Schaufelberger set her sights on a new career.

“And when I graduated from med school, my mentor walked me across the stage,” she said.

Schaufelberger veers once more into the personal, acknowledging that she’s obsessed with her children and loves her dog way, way too much. And she talks about her father, a pipe fitter, who when injured looked to his daughter to take care of things.

She shifts gears, returning to the topic of her patients, the conversation accompanied by the clatter of pots and pans. The interviewer notes this and inquires.

“Oh, I’m multi-tasking. I need to be busy or I don’t do well,” said Schaufelberger. “But as I was saying, I’m old, I’m relatable, I’m not intimidating, I don’t scare people, and maybe that’s why people I don’t know connect with me. Because I can talk to them.”

This segues into a nice little discussion about a shoulder injury that took Schaufelberger out of action for five months.

“All I could think about was seeing my patients,” she said. “I love them all.”

One of the patients who acutely felt the pain of Schaufelberger’s shoulder injury was Morgan, who became a patient following a recommendation.

“It was very important to me when I switched that I click with my new provider and feel an immediate sense of trust. Within, oh, about 20 seconds of meeting her, I knew she was incredible,” said Morgan. “She literally pulled out a piece of paper, we went through every one of my concerns, wrote them down and said, ‘This is our plan for this' and ‘This is our plan for that.’ She was listening. I knew I was in good hands.”

In the eighth month of Morgan’s pregnancy, Schaufelberger admitted she would not be able to deliver the baby because she needed a procedure to repair her shoulder.

“It was instant tears for me, and she was tearing up too,” said Morgan. “But she said she was still going to be there for me. And she was true to her word—any time I needed her or her reassurance, she was just a phone call or text away.”

Speaking of reassurance, another patient (Sarah) recalled a simple sentence that Schaufelberger returns to again and again.

“Dr. Schaufelberger always says, ‘I trust a mother’s instinct.’ That’s so reassuring to hear,” Sarah said.

Schaufelberger ends the chat by emphasizing the importance of a welcoming atmosphere, one with the power to create an immediate connection that can lead to a lifelong bond.

“Okay, I admit that I really want you to like me when you come in. But more significant is that you feel safe and secure, so you can be honest and ask whatever needs asking, and we can be friends.”

Sarah's comment confirms this.

"What sets Dr. Schaufelberger apart from other doctors is that she doesn't just get to know you as a patient," said Sarah. "She knows you as a person and she knows and cares about you and your entire growing family."

Dr. Adriana Schaufelberger is a board-certified OB/GYN and sees patients at Women's Care of Wisconsin locations in Neenah and Waupaca. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Schaufelberger, please call or text 920.729.7105.

They Said What?

A good way to understand our Circle of Care—and your part in it—is to hear from our providers in their own words.

At Women's Care of Wisconsin, we empower women by involving them in all of their health care decisions. We strive to know our patients well, helping them achieve their personal goals and live their best lives. Our doctors, midwives, and nurse practitioners offer a well-rounded approach to OB/GYN care, one that meets both the physical and emotional needs of patients throughout every phase of life. 

We call it our Circle of Care. And it begins with you.

Caroline Abel APNP
“Empowerment is at the heart of our Circle of Care. I work in partnership with my patients to create individualized plans of care that help them to be successful in their healthcare journey. I learn from you and you learn from me. Together we can get you where you need to be.”

Gretchen Augustine DO, OB/GYN
“The Circle of Care is our vision to take care of the whole patient on the whole journey, instead of just a piece of it.”

Allison Brubaker MD, OB/GYN
“The Circle of Care means developing a rapport with patients. They keep coming back to you—for their pregnancy, afterwards for postpartum, later on for their GYN care, you see them when they’re going through menopause, and then you start seeing their daughters and their granddaughters.”

Eric Eberts MD, OB/GYN & Practice Founder
“I care about how the teamwork happens. We’re all partners here; we support one another. We have strengths, specialties, and the trust in each other to do the best for every patient that walks through our door, no matter the issue. Your patient, my patient. That’s completing the Circle.”

Valary Gass MD, OB/GYN
“I want my patients to feel that they were heard. There’s no one single fit for everyone, so I educate them on treatment options so they can choose what’s going to meet their goals and fit their lifestyles.”

Elise Gessler CNM
“I want to learn more about my patients and spend more time with them, and being a midwife I can really get to know them and care for them through all aspects of their life. To me, that represents what the Circle of Care is all about.”

Amanda Reed MD, OB/GYN
“At Women’s Care of Wisconsin, I have support all around me, and that also supports our patients, who are taken care of every step of the way. We really have it together here, and I hear that from patients all the time.”

Adriana Schaufelberger MD, OB/GYN
“I love being there for the patient. I get to see them through their life span, so many important moments. It’s critical to have that connection.”

Marissa Schloesser MD, OB/GYN
“We’re following women through their life, through various journeys, from teenage years to reproductive years through menopause. There’s so much joy in each of those journeys, but the transitions can be difficult or stressful for patients, who look to us to help guide them through these challenging moments. We may not always have the answer for them, but we can always help them through it and help them get to a place that they need to be.”

Effie Siomos MD, OB/GYN
“Something that doesn’t get emphasized enough in health care is teamwork. All of us at Women’s Care understand the importance of each moment in the patient journey and use those as opportunities to elevate the experience.”

Sara Swift MD, OB/GYN
“It’s not just caring for women from their teenage years to their menopausal years, but it’s also caring for a woman as a whole, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.”

Jenny Taubel CNM
“The Circle of Care is about developing long-lasting relationships with patients. That begins by listening.”

Pa Kou Thao APNP
“Everybody who walks through the door to see me is like a family member, right? I'm going to treat you like you are my family, because that's how I would want somebody to treat any family member of mine if the roles were reversed.”

Maria Vandenberg MD, OB/GYN
“Building life-long relationships with my patients is an important part of my practice. There is no greater privilege than standing next to a woman as she transitions to adulthood, becomes a mom, and lives a healthy life.”

Kay Weina CNM
“It's your body and it's your baby, and it's your choice. These decisions are up to you. I'm just there to help you figure that out and to answer the questions that you might have.”

Therese Yarroch MD, OB/GYN
“We go through some critical times with our patients, and we are there to make a difference.”

Caring, Empathetic, Genuine: Meet Effie Siomos

Effie Siomos is a strong advocate for women taking steps to care for themselves.

“We need to do nice things for ourselves once in a while,” Siomos said. “Make time to meet a friend for lunch. Take a walk, ride a bike, sign up for a mud run. See your doctor.”

Wait, what?

“I know people don’t think of going to the doctor as something nice you can do for yourself, but just do it,” said the OB/GYN from Women’s Care of Wisconsin. “It will make your day-to-day life better.”

With special interests that include pregnancy care, performing in-office procedures and minimally invasive surgeries, and consults with moms and daughters to manage heavy periods or discuss birth control, Siomos has seen—countless times—women who have been dealing with issues for three, five seven years until they finally come in to see her.

In one classic exchange, a patient said she had been dealing with a problem in silence ever since the birth of her baby. Siomos asked how old her baby was.

“He’s going into high school,” was the reply.

“It’s easier to take care of our kids or our parents than it is to take care of ourselves,” said Siomos. “Just because your friend doesn’t have the issue doesn’t mean this is your lot in life. There are so many options to get you back to where you should be.”

Siomos loves good conversations with patients and feels that by paying close attention, she can make sure people are getting what they need at her office.

“Whatever the issue, there are physical symptoms that come with it, but there’s an emotional component as well, and paying attention to that really helps guide the treatment for what the patient wants or needs and what solution is best for them,” Siomos said.

Though a Chicagoland native, Siomos has spent her entire career practicing in rural communities, first in Beaver Dam following her residency, and now in Berlin.

“It’s a nice way to practice medicine,” said Siomos. “It just feels a little more personal. People look after each other.”

Such a perspective, said Siomos, dovetails perfectly with the culture at Women’s Care of Wisconsin, the organization she joined in 2019.

“A lot of times when you go to a doctor's office you're not just getting the doctor. You're getting the person at the front desk, you're getting the person who takes your blood pressure and puts you in a room, you’re talking to the nurse if you're calling with a question afterwards. There are all these layers to what makes a great experience, and that’s where Women’s Care of Wisconsin really stands out,” said Siomos. “It’s our people.”

With a family background in healthcare, it wasn’t surprising to see Siomos follow the path, as she weighed a university job against a more hands on career in the field. The latter solidified itself upon her first delivery, an experience she described as different from anything else she had experienced in med school.

“It was an amazing chance to be part of someone’s life at such a moment,” Siomos said. “It’s also an extraordinary opportunity to make an impact in ways that might not be typical for healthcare.”

Many days find Siomos in her Berlin clinic, spending time with patients discussing their concerns and healthcare goals and learning what’s important to them, while other days she’s in surgery for planned procedures such as a hysterectomy or the removal of cysts.

It’s a job with plenty of variety, which Siomos embraces.

“It’s a great way to get to know people, when you can sit down and talk to them about what decisions would be best in their life,” she said. “I get to teach and present what treatments are available and provide my patients with a clear understanding of their options,” said Siomos.

Gone are the days, she said, of patting someone on the knee and sending them on their way, often with the cursory (and demeaning) advice to just tough it out.

“There are so many different ways women want to interact with their health care,” said Siomos. “And we have so many ways to help.”

Dr. Effie Siomos sees patients at Women's Care of Wisconsin in Berlin, located at 225 Memorial Drive, Suite 2030. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Siomos, please call or text 920.729.7105.

Compassionate, Patient-Centered Care: Meet Allison Brubaker

 

A fertility specialist at Women's Care of Wisconsin, Dr. Allison Brubaker can swiftly identify a catalyst and inspiration for her interest in the field.

“My mom was told at one point she wouldn’t be able to have children,” said Brubaker. “I’m one of five she gave birth to.”

After being put in such a position—basically being told there was little to no hope other than to visit an adoption agency—Brubaker’s mother had the strength to persevere. But it’s a situation Brubaker doesn’t want other women to have to endure.

“I don’t want any woman to feel like that,” she said. "When women come to see me, I want them to know that there are options and there is someone to help them."

For Brubaker, helping families become pregnant is just one of the things she loves about being an OB/GYN. She enjoys all areas of obstetrics and has a particular passion for the minimally invasive surgical management of uterine fibroids, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, abnormal uterine bleeding, pelvic organ prolapse, and pelvic pain.

The first in her family to pursue a career in medicine, Brubaker was drawn to surgery and knew whatever specific field she chose would have a surgical component. It wasn’t until late in her rotations that she was involved with labor and delivery; she was hooked immediately.

“I was so empowered when I delivered my first baby,” Brubaker said. “It’s just so exciting.”

Brubaker embraces her role as a women’s healthcare specialist and enjoys the wide variety of patients she sees, from young women experiencing their first gynecology visit to those dealing with post-menopausal issues, as well as providing care to the LGBTQIA+ community.

“I believe strongly in patient-centered care,” said Brubaker. “That means listening to patients, educating them on their treatment options, discussing risks and benefits, and letting them choose what is best for their lifestyle.”

Speaking of patient-centered care, the words of a patient (in this case, Amanda) would be apropos: 

She is amazing! I am so grateful she was there to help me with my first delivery. Dr. Brubaker is very vigilant, knowledgeable, friendly and calm. I was so scared during labor, as our baby just wasn't wanting to make her appearance. The cord was around her neck & her heart rate kept dropping. The way Dr. Brubaker was so calm and straightforward really helped me stay calm myself. Her communication was great and she explained everything while also being encouraging. She also visited us the next day which showed me how passionate she is. Brubaker will forever hold a special spot in my heart because she successfully helped my daughter come into this world, healthy as can be!

Dr. Allison Brubaker sees patients at Women's Care of Wisconsin locations in Neenah and Oshkosh. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Brubaker, please call or text 920.729.7105.

Gwen’s Surrogacy Journey

Gwen & Kyle, far right, with their children Jacob, Abram, and Marcella. In the center, Sol and Robin, holding baby Gabriel.

“After having my three kids, I knew for sure I was done,” Gwen said.

Well, not exactly.

“But I’ve always had really good pregnancies. Easy deliveries. Fast deliveries,” she said. “I guess that’s part of the reason I kept having kids.”

Empathy is another.

“I have friends who have dealt with infertility, losses and miscarriages, and that just tears my heart out,” said Gwen. “So I started toying around with the idea of surrogacy, and soon enough I had done it three times.”

We followed up with a few questions, and Gwen generously answered every one.

Can you describe how you got started with becoming a surrogate?

Often times if people are interested, they’ll reach out to an agency. That’s how you get connected with other people. I did that as well. Then I joined Facebook surrogacy groups and did lots of research (about a year’s worth). Oh my goodness, there’s so much to learn. But I learned pretty quickly I didn't want to go through an agency after being on the Facebook groups and hearing parents looking for a surrogate say how much they wanted to move forward but they couldn’t afford the agency fee. They just didn’t have that kind of money. But I found out there was a way to cut out the middleman and do an independent journey where you’re matched with people. Yes, there’s all kinds of legalities to abide by, you need your own lawyers and have to go to court, and there’s a lot more work on both the intended parents’ and surrogate’s side of it, but you cut out the middleman.

Did you ever look at what stood in front of you and feel overwhelmed?

It can be a lot. It's like a part time job. Once you start getting into it, you realize all the things you have to do just to get to the point where you go for your embryo transfer—there's insurance, there's writing contracts, it's the expense part asking how much you want for this and how much you want for that, finding the lawyers, sending all your medical records. For a couple of months, you always feel like you're on the phone with somebody or emailing people.

We understand your first surrogacy was for a couple in the area. How did that come to be?

I had just mentioned to my neighbor that I was thinking about doing surrogacy, and she was like, ‘Really? Because I have this coworker and she's looking for a surrogate!’ Everything kind of just fell into place really nicely, right in my lap. And after the delivery I realized I wasn’t ready to be done. I went on to one of the Facebook match groups and that’s how I matched with a couple from New Jersey.

And how did the matching work out?

We’re so close with this family. I’ve talked to them just about every day since we first found each other in August of 2019. I delivered their daughter Emmie in 2020. And then they asked me to be a surrogate again with a boy embryo so Emmie would have a brother.

No pressure there, right?

They said, ‘We would love for you to be, but if you say no, we support you. We understand, we love you. Just pray on it.’ My husband was more like, ‘Kinda thought we were done.’ But I couldn’t imagine them asking somebody else to give Emmie their brother. It would break my heart. A totally selfish reason, right? But they’re like family now. The kids call me Auntie Gwen and my husband is Uncle Kyle. But a big part of it was worry. My husband and my oldest son were worried about me going through surrogacy one more time. I’m one of those people who just says, ‘Faith over fear. It’ll be fine. It’s fine. We’re fine. Everything’s fine.’ Sometimes that works out really well. Other times I probably should put more thought into things.

Would you describe your husband as being supportive of your choices?

Oh, gosh, he's just the best. I mean, he's one of those guys where I just come up with these crazy ideas and he's like, ‘Okay then, that's what we're doing. I got you; let’s do this.’ I’m so thankful for him. And he’s the most amazing labor coach ever!

We initially reached out to you when you entered our March Facebook contest. You posted a beautiful picture of the baby boy you delivered for the New Jersey couple, along with a comment that indicated that this birth wasn’t your typical easy delivery. Could you share that experience with us?

So labor was amazing. I had hardly any pain at all. I was super relaxed. I do natural births, so I'm just up, walking around. And everything's pretty normal. Kay (Women’s Care Midwife Kay Weina) was an awesome support. I mean, I loved everyone who delivered the babies before, but Kay was just so attentive. It was like having a doula there, only without having to pay for a doula. She's right there, helping me make decisions, making sure I’m comfortable. It was just awesome. So she said, ‘Okay, I think it's time to push’ and I was like, ‘Alright, cool.’ So it was maybe two pushes, and he was out. And it was not difficult at all. And he came out being super healthy. We already had known he had the diagnosis of having Down Syndrome. So sometimes when babies with Down Syndrome are born, it can be a little bit scary because they can need extra support with things like breathing and eating. But Gabriel was awesome. He had no issues. His vitals were great. He was stable. I thought I was stable. Kay thought I was I was stable. But . . .

Uh, oh. Wanna keep sharing?

Right when I thought everything was awesome, my nurse Megan (and I used to babysit Megan when she was a little girl!) said I was losing a little more blood than they liked. I was like, ‘Okay! I’m fine! Whatever!’ They kept checking. After about an hour I wasn’t feeling so great. I don’t know how to explain it. I just kind of crashed. They decided to give me some medication (Cytotec, which dissolves under your tongue and is disgusting) to help with the bleeding. Once it finished dissolving, I started shaking really bad. I couldn't control it. And then I got really, really cold, painfully cold. The teeth chattering kind of cold. I thought it was the medication, but they thought it was me losing too much blood. That’s when I got scared.

My husband was there. The intended mom, Robin, was there—she lost the first three hours with her newborn baby because she stayed with me. That’s the wonderful person she is. I told her, ‘Please, just go and be with your baby. That's where you need to be.’ She said, ‘That's not where I need to be. I'm not leaving you.’ I mean, how hard was that? You have this brand new, amazing baby, but you know, your surrogate’s trying to die on you. So Kay was gone and Megan called her and let her know what was going on. And she's like, ‘Well, you need to call whoever the OB is on the floor right now and have them come and assess her right away.’ I already had one IV in and needed a second one, but because I was shaking and dehydrated they were having difficulty getting that in. That wasn’t fun either.

So now I’m feeling like I’m going to pass out. But in my mind I felt if I passed out, I wasn’t ever going to wake up. At that moment, I looked at all the signs on the wall and was reading them over and over to keep my mind active. I’d read the time on the clock on the wall again and again. Earlier my seven-year-old felt something bad was going to happen. Before I left she said, ‘Mommy, what if you don't come home?’ And I told Marcella that would never happen. And then I just remember praying, saying to God if it's my time to go, it's your choice and I trust you. I trust You, Holy God. But for the sake of my children, please keep me here.

So the only OB on the floor was Dr. Schloesser, and she was in surgery. It was probably only five minutes before she arrived, but it felt like an eternity. She came in and could tell I was in distress. I had also lost the energy to talk. I was so depleted that they would ask me questions and all I could do was nod my head. And of course, there was so much I wanted to say, starting with ‘If I’m going to die, please tell my family that I love them.’

I had spiked a fever, my blood pressure was increasing, heart rate through the roof. Schloesser said she thought I was hemorrhaging and that I had retained some placenta and she was going to have to get it out. I knew what was coming—I didn’t have an epidural—but I really didn’t have a choice because it was that or an emergency hysterectomy. She said it was going to be really uncomfortable. And it was. It was awful. I think they said I lost twice as much blood as I was supposed to.

The next day when Robin and I had the chance to process all of this, we both talked about how we had prayed. Her prayer was to not let anything happen to me.

Can you tell us a little about Gabriel?

Well, you can see what a beautiful boy he from the picture I posted, right? He was born at 38 weeks and he just turned 38 weeks, so Robin did this really cool picture with Gabriel saying, ‘I’m out as long as I was in today.’ He’s almost nine months and he’s doing so good.

Now that your surrogacy journey is over, would you have changed anything?

There is nothing that I would change. Everything happens for a reason. Would I have preferred to not have the traumatic incident happen right after Gabriel was born? Absolutely. But God kept me safe as we prayed.

What is something you learned about yourself throughout this journey?

I am stronger than I ever knew I was. While labor was easy, the transition into the scary stuff was extremely hard. It was a moment where I felt close to God; it only strengthened my faith.

How did this journey affect your own family?

These types of things make you realize how quickly your life can change. While we always make sure to say our ‘I love you's,' it definitely made us appreciate all the moments and time we have together. There have been moments even up until today where we reflect and share tears about it; it's all part of the healing process.

Finally, how do you put into words the difference you have made in the lives of others by taking this journey?

That’s a hard one for me to answer. I do not feel anything I did was extraordinary. I simply did what was in my heart to do. I love talking about surrogacy and I am always happy to help those looking into surrogacy. I often get messages and questions from strangers about how to proceed with their own journey and that has been one of the best parts, aside from bringing 3 awesome children into the world.

*             *             *

Coda, from Robin:

I can’t even begin to imagine how Gwen felt . . . how scared she was. I know how scared I was watching what was happening to her and I am certain my fear was nothing compared to hers. 

I have never seen someone shake the way she was and she had 10 blankets on her. I held her hand, I had my lips on her forehead and she was burning up. The whole thing was surreal. Kyle and I would look at each other, tears in our eyes, and the fear of what may be passed between us without words.  

Gwen told you we prayed. That I told her I prayed that nothing would happen to her. That is true. What I didn’t tell her (and she is finding out as she reads this) is that yes, I prayed to G-d that he wouldn’t take her. I told him that I didn’t want him to have to take anyone, but if he did . . . to take Gabriel and not her. Her family COULD NOT lose her. I COULD NOT lose her. Gwen is selfless and this story could not end like this. Thank G-d our prayers were answered for the good! Faith over Fear has been our motto since the beginning. We held on to that. Faith won once again. 

You never know what life has in store. The fact that 5 years ago I didn’t even know Gwen existed boggles my mind. How we went from total strangers to family. We always say we are girl soulmates. It’s 100 percent true! Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. Had I been able to carry my own children I would not know the Morans. A life without knowing them is not something I would ever want. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the nurses and doctors that sprung into quick action that day. It’s because of you (and of course G-d) that we are here writing this with smiles. The nurses that took care of all of us the next few days were also amazing! Your facility is amazing as are the people who care for the patients. Thank you! 

I am counting down the days until we are together for Gabriel’s 1st Birthday!

Emmie can't wait to meet her little brother.

Janelle's Journey

“Nobody prepares you for the thief miscarriage is. I feel if I can share my story, it might help somebody else from suffering alone, because they're not alone.”

Janelle took a deep breath, paused, and then apologized.

“I’m sorry if I cry."

And then she began:

It was my first pregnancy, June of 2021. We had our first appointment. I felt great. They said everything looked great. Go ahead, tell the world, we're so excited for you. And then just shy of 12 weeks we miscarried.

And there was no reason for it.

We had no bleeding or anything up until that point. I remember clearly it was a Sunday morning when I first noticed some bleeding, then called on Monday. They got me in as soon as possible. Dr. Swift was in surgery that day when we found out our baby didn't have a heartbeat. While still trying to process the loss of our baby the Dr. gave us all of our options, which is kind of overwhelming. My husband and I went home and I decided on a D&C. That day was a whirlwind as my appointment was at 8:30am and I was at the hospital for the D&C at 1:30pm.

While we were in the pre-op room for the D&C, Dr. Swift came in. You could see the genuine shock and concern on her face. She was as surprised as we were, as a couple weeks prior everything was great. She said she wanted to do some genetic testing on our baby if we were okay with it. She said, ‘I don't understand why this happened. I want to have peace of mind just as much as you do. Would you be okay if we did that?’

I said yes.

And she said, ‘We've got two options: we can either run the genetic testing through the hospital, which will cost you an arm and a leg, or, if you're okay with it, I’ll run back to my office and grab one of our kits and have it sent out this afternoon.’ So she ran from the pre-op room all the way back to the clinic to get a DNA testing kit for me and my husband. I know it's not about money, but, yes, it is about money. Because we were looking at thousands of dollars’ worth of medical bills had she not done that for us. She cared enough to run back all the way to her clinic to get this testing kit and came all the way back.

She didn't have to do that. 

I had the D&C in August of 2021; everything went well. Then at my follow up appointment Dr. Swift shared the results of the genetic testing: there was nothing wrong with our baby. It was perfectly healthy. So they don't know why it happened to us. But it did. Like it does to many. Because of that Dr. Swift wanted to do some other testing, with my permission. She said, ‘I want to eliminate if you have a blood clotting disorder or some underlying condition that we don't normally check for with low risk pregnancy.’

There's wasn't really a reason to expect a miscarriage to happen. I wasn't high risk. I had no underlying conditions. I was 29 at the time; I was a fit, healthy person, so it left my husband and me heartbroken and dumbfounded. But Dr. Swift had a game plan. ‘Here’s what we're going to do for when you get pregnant the next time, just to make sure that we've ruled out everything that we can control on our end.’

She didn't have to do that, but she cares so much for her patients.

I know people whose doctors dismissed them with a 'Yep, you had a miscarriage; happens to one in four,’ and then they expect their patients to just go about their day. Swift isn't like that; she wanted to make sure that we covered all of our bases so that my husband and I could have our family.

My miscarriage left this empty, hollow person for a long time. And to this day I still think about when we found out our first baby would have been a girl. Who would she be today? Would she look like me or would she look like her daddy? Would she have my personality? Or his? Also, a dear friend who's a photographer created a beautiful photo shoot to tell my stepson that he was going to be a big brother. We had all this excitement bursting within us, so we told the world and right after we told the world we lost her. And then we had to tell my stepson he wasn’t going to be a big brother anymore because for reasons unknown to us God needed our baby . . . 

*******

After trying for almost a whole year and not succeeding, we finally got pregnant again. As soon as they found out I was pregnant, Women’s Care was like, ‘We want you to come in. We want to monitor your levels, make sure everything is progressing the way that it needs to.’ They were with me every step of the way. If I had any questions, I never hesitated to call because Dr. Swift and her team never treated me like I was a burden. It was always, ‘We've got room for you. Let’s get you in and get you taken care of.’

I was induced two weeks early because I experienced a heavier amount of bleeding than I should have. I had my 38 week check up on December 28, 2022. I also was exhausted and very fatigued. I had to drag myself to do every little thing. Something was not right. And then the bleeding got worse. I was in the following day, December 29, to monitor for contractions. Still bleeding. 

Swift said we were going to get the baby out now.

The induction process went really smooth and I progressed nicely. Labor started at around 2:00pm. The whole time I was in labor Dr. Swift came in and checked on me. Our daughter was born at 7:43pm. She was full of life right from the start and has continued to develop that little personality (she’s 15 months old this week).

Her name is Wilomena. I call her Mena. My stepson calls her Wilo. My husband calls her Lolo. She loves our pets and her brother is the light of her life.

And she is the light of ours.

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I’m currently pregnant now with our second child. We’ve been quiet about it just like with Wilomena, but I think sharing my experience at this time is important. I can tell you every single day of my life, even with my daughter and now with this pregnancy, miscarriage just sits there in the back of your mind and robs a lot of joy and happiness that you should be feeling. Because there's always that what if.

What if I lose this one too?

The beginning part of my pregnancy hasn't been easy. I had bleeding once again and those very same thoughts were present. But we’ve had a few extra appointments and ultrasounds. We’re at 15 weeks now and the baby is healthy and developing appropriately. As I said, nobody prepares you for the thief miscarriage is. I’d like to say I’m fully healed, but part of that grief is always in your heart.

If sharing my story can help one person not suffer in silence, I think that would be wonderful.