Remi’s Story

There are stories that change the shape of your life. And then there are stories that become the shape of your life. This is one of those.

Our daughter was stillborn. Those words still feel impossible to write, even a year later. Her birth, in some ways, was everything we imagined. And in so many ways, unimaginable. The story of Remi’s birth began like so many others. I began laboring at home, and after a few hours we headed to the hospital, diaper bag and car seat in tow. When we arrived, the unimaginable happened.

The nurse couldn’t find her heartbeat. It felt like a fever dream. Like our doctor would walk in and say, “Just kidding, let’s have this baby.” But that was anything but true. The moments that followed are ones Andy and I both wish we could forget and never lose at the same time. That has been the theme of this past year: living in duality.

Our doctor was called, and somehow, defying all odds (like she would so many more times), arrived from home in what felt like two minutes. She stepped into action with a kind of care I had never witnessed before. She made sure we were kept away from the sounds of newborn cries and new parents. She ushered us to a quiet room, far from the joys of new parenthood we would be missing.

From there, we were given the time and space to feel exactly what we needed to feel, with support from Dr. Swift and her team to help us make decisions that felt too big to hold. She guided us through grief with kindness, knowledge, and a calm sureness that made us trust every single decision she made. When everything felt out of control, her steadiness mattered more than I can explain.

When it was time, Remi’s birth was quiet and devastating. The room held a kind of silence that wasn’t empty, but heavy with meaning. Time moved strangely. Everything went slowly and too fast at once. What could have been chaos was instead held by an extraordinary care team.

Nurses who moved gently.

A doctor who treated her not as a loss, but as a person.

As our daughter.

As someone who mattered.

They honored her life, even in death. They honored us as parents. They gave dignity to a moment that could have been clinical and cold, and instead made it human, sacred, and compassionate. That kind of care changes you. It stays with you. It becomes part of your healing.

There is no language that fully captures what it feels like to give birth and not hear a cry. To hold your baby and know the world will never meet her the way you imagined. There is nothing that can prepare you for coming home to a quiet house when you planned for the exact opposite. The crib meant for little toes, empty. The halls meant for midnight cries, silent. The onesies neatly folded, never worn.

Your body feels the effects of having a baby, but your arms are empty. Nights are sleepless for a different reason. Hugs are for consolation instead of congratulations. And through all of it, we were not alone. Our family. Our friends. Our support system. People who showed up without needing words, who honored Remi and grieved with us without trying to fix either. That kind of love is rare. We will never be able to thank our army enough.

Today, on January 27th, we celebrate her first birthday.

In the last year, it hasn’t gotten easier. It hasn’t healed everything. Our grief hasn’t disappeared. We still miss Remi every day. But we celebrate her because she is the baby who made us parents. She matters. She changed us. No matter the length of a life, it can still leave an imprint that lasts forever. She is our first child. She is Otto’s sister. She is part of our family story forever. We do not move on from her. We move forward with her.

Happy first birthday, sweet girl. You are known. You are loved. You are remembered. You are part of everything we are becoming.

Educational Note on Stillbirth and Umbilical Cord Length: Stillbirth affects about 1 in 175 pregnancies in the United States. It is a loss that often arrives without warning and without a clear explanation, even when parents have done everything “right.” In Remi’s case, we later learned that her umbilical cord was nearly three times the average length. While the typical umbilical cord is around 20–24 inches, hers was significantly longer. This can increase the risk of cord entanglement or compression, which can disrupt oxygen and blood flow to the baby. What makes this especially painful is that umbilical cord length and related risks cannot be reliably seen or predicted on ultrasound. There was nothing we could have done to prevent this, and nothing that could have been detected ahead of time. Stillbirth is not caused by stress, diet, movement, or a parent’s choices. Sometimes, tragically, it is the result of circumstances beyond anyone’s control. We share this not to explain away Remi, but to honor her story with truth, and to remind other parents that this kind of loss is not a personal failure.

For Remi: Remi, you changed us forever. You made us parents. You made us softer, braver, and more aware of how fragile and miraculous love is. We carry you in the way we love Otto, in the way we notice small things, in the way we hold joy and grief side by side. We miss you every single day, in quiet moments and loud ones, in ordinary Tuesdays and in the milestones that ache. Your birthday will always be sacred to us. You are part of our family, part of our story, part of who we are becoming. We love you beyond language, beyond time, beyond what we can see. Happy first birthday, sweet girl. You are here, with us, always.

If you are reading this and carrying a loss of your own, I want you to know that your baby matters. Your grief is real. Your love is real. And the relationship you have with your child does not end because their life was brief. We are learning that grief does not disappear, but it changes shape. Remi is part of us. She is part of our family. She is part of who we are becoming.

And so are the babies who changed you.

Megan's Story

Megan was in Menasha, heading to Oshkosh.

I looked out my window in Appleton. Swirling snow, gusting winds.

“Are you sure you want to give a testimonial while you're driving?” I asked.

She laughed and said, “We’re good at multi-tasking, right?”

I think she meant moms, but in case she was including older adult males without children, I agreed.

And so Megan began:

I didn’t choose Kay Weina; somehow, I think it was just meant to be. My original OB was unavailable when I went into labor with my first. I was going to be induced and ended up going in a little bit early. Kay happened to be the provider that was on call. And she was just amazing. I ended up delivering a baby that was two pounds heavier than we predicted. Ten pounds. But no tearing or any issues, which is unheard of with a baby that size.

Anyway, Kay was absolutely wonderful. She and my husband really hit it off too, so it was like, ‘Alright, we’re going to keep you!’ We got lucky and Kay was able to deliver my second. She’s so amazing. She listens. She’s personable. She brings the calm.

Which is good, because you’re anxious when you’re in labor. I remember when my first got stuck, I got to swearing. Kay was like, ‘It’s okay, breathe. Just breathe.’ Then I’d swear some more, apologize, and she’d just laugh!

Kay recently delivered our third, after a five-year gap. We really weren’t sure if we were going to have another, but we were lucky and got pregnant. And it was perfect, again. So, we’ve got a seven-year-old, a six-year-old and a four-month-old.

Our four-month-old, Ellie, slept four hours straight last night, so maybe that’s why I offered a testimonial while driving this morning. I wanted to give Kay a good shout out today.

Yesterday this conversation might not have happened.

Erika's Story

Fourteen hours after I gave birth to my daughter, Stella, I carefully lowered myself into a wheelchair as my husband wheeled me through the hospital into the Children’s NICU. My body ached, my mind felt foggy, and my heart was heavy in a way I didn’t yet understand. Just fourteen hours earlier, everything had changed. I was on day three of a hospital stay meant to monitor me until it was “safe” for Stella to be born.

I was only 26 weeks pregnant and had been diagnosed with severe preeclampsia. We worked hard to keep Stella in as long as possible, hoping to reach at least 28 weeks. That morning, I suddenly could not breathe. Each breath felt shallow and panicked. When I complained of chest pain, my OB at Women’s Care of Wisconsin, Dr. Sara Swift, responded immediately. She listened. She acted.

An X-ray soon revealed a dangerous amount of fluid building up in my lungs, and it quickly became clear that this was a life-or-death situation. From that moment on, everything moved fast, but Dr. Swift never wavered. Her confidence, knowledge, and calm presence are what carried me through the most terrifying hours of my life.

As I was rushed into surgery and prepared for an emergency C-section, she reassured me again and again that I was going to be okay, and that Stella was going to be okay too. In a moment where fear threatened to take over, she provided steady leadership and small, but powerful, moments of hope that I will never forget. At 2:49 PM, Stella Lane was born. 1 pound, 15.8 ounces. 13.49 inches.

She did not cry.

She was immediately placed in the hands of the NICU team, and I did not get to see her face or hold her right away. It was not the beginning I had imagined, but it was the beginning of her fight. The first time I saw and touched my daughter was fourteen hours later. She was impossibly small, just under two pounds, yet already incredibly strong.

Our journey included 83 days in the NICU, a season that challenged us in ways we never expected. What sustained us throughout this experience were the people who walked alongside us. From the OB and labor and delivery nurses at Women’s Care of Wisconsin who helped save my life, to the NICU nurses and respiratory therapists who cared for Stella with such compassion, we were surrounded by extraordinary medical professionals who treated us with skill, humanity, and genuine care.

After delivery, Dr. Swift continued to monitor me closely for months, ensuring that my recovery was progressing safely and that my health was truly stable. Her commitment to my care did not end with delivery, and that ongoing support meant more to me than words can express.

The day Stella finally came home felt surreal, like stepping into a life we had been afraid to imagine for so long. Today, Stella is a perfectly healthy seven-month-old. She requires no oxygen, no feeding tube, and has no long-lasting effects from her early arrival. She is in the 50th percentile for weight and the 90th for height, strong, curious, and full of life. She amazes us every single day.

I still carry pieces of this experience with me, but each day brings more healing and more gratitude. Because of the care we received at Women’s Care of Wisconsin, both my daughter and I are doing great today. We will always be grateful to Dr. Swift, the entire team at Women’s Care of Wisconsin, our labor and delivery nurses, and the incredible Children’s NICU staff for the care that changed our lives forever.

Jane’s Story of Resilience

“Hearing those words, ‘You have cancer,’ can turn your world upside down,” said Jane, as she reflected on her journey through ThedaCare, starting with Women’s Care of Wisconsin’s Dr. Valary Gass.

Jane acknowledged that she may not be representative of the typical patient whose stories are shared in our blog, but she was strongly inclined to recognize Dr. Gass’ influence upon her journey.

This is Jane's life-changing story:

In early 2020, I started to experience symptoms such as irregular and excessive spotting, despite being post-menopausal. Unfortunately, ignoring the symptoms was compatible with my approach towards gynecology, as my experiences with past practitioners have been less than positive. However, it came to a point where I could no longer ignore the possibility that I may have cancer (my ultimate diagnosis was endometrial cancer).

After seeing my primary in Waupaca, it was recommended that I see a provider in the Valley. Not being familiar with any ob/gyn providers, I checked the Women’s Care site and saw Dr. Gass’ profile, thinking, she looked kind, accepting. I noticed her warm smile.

During my first appointment with Dr. Gass, I was immediately put at ease. It turns out that her smile was sincere, and reflective of her compassion and generous nature. Before initiating any procedure, she took the time to listen intently and acknowledge any potential concerns. She did not judge or try to negate any former experiences that I presented. She reassured me that I had autonomy and control. It felt like she was partnering with me, rather than directing me through the process.

In order to feel more comfortable through the procedure of taking a biopsy, she reminded me that nitrous oxide (“laughing gas”) was an available option, and I should not feel ashamed for easing the discomfort. And so, I did accept the aid, again feeling reassured by her approach.

During the procedure, Dr. Gass walked me through each step, explaining in detail, with a calm and reassuring voice.

After the procedure was completed and the sample collected, I was given time to gather myself. Dr. Gass brought the sample to me, so I could see the abnormality.

She said in a gentle, but direct tone, ‘You may want to prepare yourself; this looks suspicious to me,’ while holding up the vial. ‘These cells may be cancerous.’

Her approach boosted my trust, which made all the difference in how I participated in my treatment. I knew I had to prepare and empower myself for the steps ahead. I felt confident that I could take on the challenge.

Dr. Gass later called to validate her suspicions, and again did not sugarcoat or distract as she laid out the recommendations. Before ending the call, she took the time to ensure that I understood what she had said, and asked if I was doing okay emotionally. Again, her sincerity and compassion evident.

And so I began the five-year process through ThedaCare Oncology, which was as good of an experience as it could be. All of the providers there, also competent and caring. After graduating from oncology, I was referred back to gynecology, and chose to return to Dr. Gass’ care.

I just recently saw her for my five-year marker and she acknowledged my recovery with enthusiasm, and that warm-hearted smile, sharing how truly happy she was for me. Her validation meant a lot, as I reflected on the very start of my journey. It was the spring of 2020, which was also the start of Covid, a very dark time for all of us, patients and providers alike. I remain grateful to the professionals within the ThedaCare system who were assigned to my care; they were always professional and supportive.

I have learned much about myself along the way. I am more resilient than I thought I was. I have a different perspective on life and my relationships, and I have learned to take better care of myself, physically and emotionally.

I have been retired for nearly two years now and feel grateful for the gifts of time and freedom. I adopted a 5-pound Chihuahua, named Quinn, who is my companion as I venture into all things nature related. Spending time among trees, kayaking on still waters, biking down a path, seeking adventures while camping. Quinn is my constant companion through it all. She seems to love riding with me on my moped most of all, as she has a vantage point of all of the rabbits and squirrels in the neighborhood, keeping tabs.

Looking back, I can say that I am truly blessed.

Leah's Story

Leah was authentic from the get-go.

“I hate making decisions. I like to let external forces make decisions for me,” she said.

But you know what? Leah made a lot of good decisions, like first-time moms just seem to do.

Her one-month-old could be heard in the background, squeaking encouragement and approval as mom told her tale.

And here’s what Leah said:

I have notes prepared for this. I feel like I’m not a very good speaker.

When I found out I was pregnant, I went with a provider that was in the same system as my primary. I was thinking about working with a midwife but I found the location where I was going only had OB’s. No midwives. So I thought, ‘Well, whatever, I’m sure it’s fine.’

One thing I did know was that I wanted a doula. So when I hired one, she helped explain the difference between an OB and a midwife and encouraged me to look around and see what else was out there. After doing more research and reading some pregnancy books, I felt confident that I wanted to try a midwife first, as long as I stayed low risk. It seemed more my style.

One of my girlfriends, who did a ton of research and was looking to do a VBAC, had looked into all kinds of places and did a ton of consultations and decided to go with an OB at Women’s Care of Wisconsin. She told me she really liked them, and her recommendation sparked me to call.

Now, I have a hard time picking a provider based on a video or a written bio because you never really know until you meet them in person, so when I called I simply said I was interested in a consultation with a midwife who is accepting patients or is nearby. I live in Kaukauna and went with the Appleton location because it was closer; that’s how I got with Jenny. I hadn’t even looked up anything about her at all!

I was definitely more prepared for this appointment than I was for the one with the OB, and part of that was because I had better questions to ask this time around. Women’s Care was very different from the place I'd been at previously. It was warm and welcoming instead of cold and sterile feeling. The nurse who first spoke with me and went through a ton of materials with me was awesome, and they gave me printed materials! I like having printed materials, not just digital documents sent to my phone.

When Jenny came in, she also went through a ton of information, and then she let me ask whatever questions I had. At the previous place, the appointments seemed a little rushed, kind of like they were just checking some boxes. Jenny answered all my questions really thoroughly. We were nearing the end of our appointment and I said, ‘I have a few more questions, but if you have to go . . .’

Jenny was awesome and said, “No, no, no, you keep going!”

I will also say I was very nervous early on about the birth plan and delivery day, because people kept telling me my plan can be whatever I want. That was frustrating to hear because it’s my first time—I don’t really know what I want, how this works, or even what my options are.

I brought that up to Jenny, and she explained that I didn’t need to know the plan right away, that it was something you figure out later in the third trimester. So that made me feel relieved. And then she mentioned how it's important to not be too tied to your plan anyway because things sometimes don’t go the way you think they will.

Or as Jenny said, “Baby’s gonna do what baby’s gonna do.” 

And I don't know why, but that just made me feel better. Like, I didn't need to have every part of my plan figured out to a T, or have a Plan B for every scenario. I could hope for the best and then just trust that my care team has me and my baby’s well-being as their top priority and will help me figure it out if something changes. I talked about that with my therapist, and she told me to give myself permission to not think bad thoughts about giving birth. So, I just didn't think about it. And that was great and gave me some relief for a few months.

That worked until month 8 . . . then it was, ‘Okay, this is going to happen.’

I shared all my anxieties with Jenny along the way. She never laughed at me or my questions. I definitely shed some tears in those appointments. She was so patient with me, so good at explaining my options and providing recommendations when I asked, and always explaining the reasoning behind what she thought was best for me.

And now we have Averi. Born eight pounds three ounces and now she's ten pounds seven ounces. She's doing awesome. Of course she has her fussy moments where you have to figure it out, but she's a really great baby😊.

MaKaela's Story

Three years ago, I found out I was pregnant with my first little boy, and I was really scared. My mom had recommended that I see a midwife, and I liked the things she talked about and the points she made, so I just called and scheduled an appointment. I hadn’t seen anyone there before, and I ended up with Jenny Taubel.

I felt instantly comfortable with her, and I became more confident throughout my pregnancy journey. Everything went really well with my pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I felt very attached to the whole experience. And that’s when I found out they were closing their OB Department, so I was not able to see Jenny for my six-week postpartum checkup.

I kind of felt like I never got closure from that, and it made me really sad. But I was determined to keep an eye out, because I was going to follow Jenny wherever she went. I searched her all the time and when I found out she was joining Women’s Care of Wisconsin, I made an appointment right away because I was due for a checkup.

Anyway, I live in Neshkoro, and everything is kind of far away from me. I was driving 50 minutes to my appointments with Jenny for our first visits; now I was adding another half hour to that drive to get to Appleton, but getting back to Jenny was worth it. And I got closure from that first chapter.

Then I got pregnant with my second; she was just born in June. I went into this second pregnancy with a lot more confidence, although we got a bit of a scare at the 20-week ultrasound, as my baby seemed not to be growing quite as much as she needed to (borderline fetal growth restriction). Luckily, she stayed above that threshold so that I was able to stay with Jenny, and everything went great from there.

Jenny's so good at bringing calm to situations. I remember during my first pregnancy I was so nervous I couldn’t even think of questions to ask her because everything was so new to me. And I would go home and Google stuff and be so scared. There was one appointment where just I broke down in tears asking her all these questions, and she made me feel so much better.

Honestly, when I’m with Jenny I feel like I'm being taken care of by my own mother. She has such a gentle manner.

Paige's Story

I’ve been a patient of Dr. Gass since before I became pregnant, and from the very beginning, she has been nothing short of incredible.

Before pregnancy, she provided the most thoughtful and thorough care. From routine visits to procedures, she always took the time to explain, listen, and make me feel completely cared for. When I became pregnant with my first daughter, I had a rough pregnancy marked by sickness and the uncertainty that comes with being a younger mom. Through it all, Dr. Gass was a steady, compassionate presence. She was always confident, comforting, and supportive in every way. When it came time to be induced, I was anxious about the unknowns of labor, but she helped calm my fears and made me believe I could do it. And she was right there by my side every step of the way.

Just one year later, I became pregnant with my second daughter. This time, my pregnancy came with new challenges, as I was diagnosed with IUGR and needed to be induced at 38 weeks. Once again, Dr. Gass was amazing — she explained everything clearly, reassured me, and helped me feel completely at ease. Thanks to her care, I delivered another healthy baby girl, and I’ll always be grateful for her guidance and support.

In October 2024, I found out I was pregnant again. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. It was one of the hardest experiences I’ve faced, but Dr. Gass was exactly what I needed during that time. She made me feel seen, heard, and truly cared for. She never rushed me through appointments and provided both medical and emotional support in the most compassionate way possible.

Then, in 2025, I found out I was expecting again. After what I had just gone through, I was anxious and fearful, but Dr. Gass went above and beyond to help me feel supported. She encouraged me to come in for check-ins anytime I needed reassurance, which gave me so much peace of mind. In August, I delivered my third baby (a boy) once again, I was diagnosed with IUGR and needed to be induced at 37 weeks. I felt confident knowing that Dr. Gass was there. She guided me through everything just like she always had.

When my son had to spend time in the NICU, she continued to check in on not just me, but him as well — a small gesture that meant the world to me during such a vulnerable time.

Dr. Gass has been my doctor, my steady hand, and a true source of comfort through every pregnancy, loss, and new beginning. She is genuinely one of a kind, and I tell her all the time she’s simply the best.