The Circle of Care: The Patients Speak

In a recent blog we asked our providers to share what the Circle of Care means to them. Following this, we asked our patients to do the same. Some of their stories are brief, some lengthy, but all contain powerful messages and are told with an authentic, genuine voice.

Today, we share Paula's story:

“I needed to have an in-office surgery performed by Dr. Yarroch for some postmenopausal bleeding I had been having. Needless to say, I was extremely scared as I’d never had this problem before, but the staff at Women’s Care was unbelievably compassionate. A week before the procedure Sarah, Dr. Yarroch’s nurse, called me and explained what was going to be done, explaining that it could be performed under nitrous oxide. On the morning of the procedure, Heather (the CMA) got me checked in and again went over exactly what was going to be happening. For whatever reason the nitrous didn’t work as planned for me, possibly because I was so anxious, so after the nerve blocks were placed, Sarah stood next to me throughout the entire procedure, explaining exactly what Dr. Yarroch was doing and why. Whenever there was a gap in the conversation, she continued to ask me questions to keep the conversation going just to keep my mind off what was happening and it worked like a charm. In no time at all I heard Dr. Yarroch say 'Okay, that’s it, we’re finished.' I couldn’t believe I had made it through. Dr. Yarroch, Sarah and Heather kept reassuring me throughout the entire procedure of how well I was doing and how much longer it would be before we were finished. All three of these women made what was an extremely stressful situation for me so much more bearable. 

I truthfully can’t say enough good things about these women!”

Meet Adriana Schaufelberger

“What do you think your patients appreciate most about you?”

She didn't expect that question right off the bat.

“Ooooh. Not sure,” she said. “Maybe that I try to make things lighter and take any embarrassment out of it. There’s no shyness here. Tell me what you’re thinking. Out with it. Go for it. And that’s where we’ll both laugh. I think that’s a big thing.”

Thus begins a discussion with the board-certified OB/GYN, someone who truly loves every part of her interactions with patients at Women’s Care of Wisconsin.

The ability to connect is clearly a strength of Schaufelberger’s. Her patients feel this in their first visit and understand in short order one of her essential mantras.

“I’m not about rushing. I don’t like to be rushed. I don’t like to rush my patients,” said Schaufelberger. “My routine is to come into the room, sit down, and then . . . we talk. And if you cry, there’s a good chance I’m going to cry with you." 

Schaufelberger loves to talk and is laser focused on chatting about patient care, yet she does sprinkle in the personal: she’s an identical twin, first generation Hispanic, who worked 40 hours a week while taking full credit loads to earn her two degrees.

“I started out in nursing school, getting into Purdue’s nursing program by accident. I didn't apply for it, but I was in. So I took it as an omen,” said Schaufelberger.

She loved everything about nursing (“I was good at it too!”) but a nudge from her mentor put her on a different path. She was told quite simply that she should go to medical school. Her response was perhaps typical of a different era.

“I’m a girl. I can’t be a doctor,” was her reply.

After a sideways glance accompanied by a “Seriously!” and then a more benevolent “Of course you can!" Schaufelberger set her sights on a new career.

“And when I graduated from med school, my mentor walked me across the stage,” she said.

Schaufelberger veers once more into the personal, acknowledging that she’s obsessed with her children and loves her dog way, way too much. And she talks about her father, a pipe fitter, who when injured looked to his daughter to take care of things.

She shifts gears, returning to the topic of her patients, the conversation accompanied by the clatter of pots and pans. The interviewer notes this and inquires.

“Oh, I’m multi-tasking. I need to be busy or I don’t do well,” said Schaufelberger. “But as I was saying, I’m old, I’m relatable, I’m not intimidating, I don’t scare people, and maybe that’s why people I don’t know connect with me. Because I can talk to them.”

This segues into a nice little discussion about a shoulder injury that took Schaufelberger out of action for five months.

“All I could think about was seeing my patients,” she said. “I love them all.”

One of the patients who acutely felt the pain of Schaufelberger’s shoulder injury was Morgan, who became a patient following a recommendation.

“It was very important to me when I switched that I click with my new provider and feel an immediate sense of trust. Within, oh, about 20 seconds of meeting her, I knew she was incredible,” said Morgan. “She literally pulled out a piece of paper, we went through every one of my concerns, wrote them down and said, ‘This is our plan for this' and ‘This is our plan for that.’ She was listening. I knew I was in good hands.”

In the eighth month of Morgan’s pregnancy, Schaufelberger admitted she would not be able to deliver the baby because she needed a procedure to repair her shoulder.

“It was instant tears for me, and she was tearing up too,” said Morgan. “But she said she was still going to be there for me. And she was true to her word—any time I needed her or her reassurance, she was just a phone call or text away.”

Speaking of reassurance, another patient (Sarah) recalled a simple sentence that Schaufelberger returns to again and again.

“Dr. Schaufelberger always says, ‘I trust a mother’s instinct.’ That’s so reassuring to hear,” Sarah said.

Schaufelberger ends the chat by emphasizing the importance of a welcoming atmosphere, one with the power to create an immediate connection that can lead to a lifelong bond.

“Okay, I admit that I really want you to like me when you come in. But more significant is that you feel safe and secure, so you can be honest and ask whatever needs asking, and we can be friends.”

Sarah's comment confirms this.

"What sets Dr. Schaufelberger apart from other doctors is that she doesn't just get to know you as a patient," said Sarah. "She knows you as a person and she knows and cares about you and your entire growing family."

Dr. Adriana Schaufelberger is a board-certified OB/GYN and sees patients at Women's Care of Wisconsin locations in Neenah and Waupaca. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Schaufelberger, please call or text 920.729.7105.

They Said What?

A good way to understand our Circle of Care—and your part in it—is to hear from our providers in their own words.

At Women's Care of Wisconsin, we empower women by involving them in all of their health care decisions. We strive to know our patients well, helping them achieve their personal goals and live their best lives. Our doctors, midwives, and nurse practitioners offer a well-rounded approach to OB/GYN care, one that meets both the physical and emotional needs of patients throughout every phase of life.

We call it our Circle of Care. And it begins with you.

Caroline Abel APNP
“Empowerment is at the heart of our Circle of Care. I work in partnership with my patients to create individualized plans of care that help them to be successful in their healthcare journey. I learn from you and you learn from me. Together we can get you where you need to be.”

Gretchen Augustine DO, OB/GYN
“The Circle of Care is our vision to take care of the whole patient on the whole journey, instead of just a piece of it.”

Allison Brubaker MD, OB/GYN
“The Circle of Care means developing a rapport with patients. They keep coming back to you—for their pregnancy, afterwards for postpartum, later on for their GYN care, you see them when they’re going through menopause, and then you start seeing their daughters and their granddaughters.”

Eric Eberts MD, OB/GYN & Practice Founder
“I care about how the teamwork happens. We’re all partners here; we support one another. We have strengths, specialties, and the trust in each other to do the best for every patient that walks through our door, no matter the issue. Your patient, my patient. That’s completing the Circle.”

Valary Gass MD, OB/GYN
“I want my patients to feel that they were heard. There’s no one single fit for everyone, so I educate them on treatment options so they can choose what’s going to meet their goals and fit their lifestyles.”

Elise Gessler CNM
“I want to learn more about my patients and spend more time with them, and being a midwife I can really get to know them and care for them through all aspects of their life. To me, that represents what the Circle of Care is all about.”

Amanda Reed MD, OB/GYN
“At Women’s Care of Wisconsin, I have support all around me, and that also supports our patients, who are taken care of every step of the way. We really have it together here, and I hear that from patients all the time.”

Adriana Schaufelberger MD, OB/GYN
“I love being there for the patient. I get to see them through their life span, so many important moments. It’s critical to have that connection.”

Marissa Schloesser MD, OB/GYN
“We’re following women through their life, through various journeys, from teenage years to reproductive years through menopause. There’s so much joy in each of those journeys, but the transitions can be difficult or stressful for patients, who look to us to help guide them through these challenging moments. We may not always have the answer for them, but we can always help them through it and help them get to a place that they need to be.”

Effie Siomos MD, OB/GYN
“Something that doesn’t get emphasized enough in health care is teamwork. All of us at Women’s Care understand the importance of each moment in the patient journey and use those as opportunities to elevate the experience.”

Sara Swift MD, OB/GYN
“It’s not just caring for women from their teenage years to their menopausal years, but it’s also caring for a woman as a whole, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.”

Jenny Taubel CNM
“The Circle of Care is about developing long-lasting relationships with patients. That begins by listening.”

Pa Kou Thao APNP
“Everybody who walks through the door to see me is like a family member, right? I'm going to treat you like you are my family, because that's how I would want somebody to treat any family member of mine if the roles were reversed.”

Caitlin Timmers MD, OB/GYN
“It's important that patients feel comfortable talking with me and asking the hard questions, the questions they might not feel comfortable asking anyone else. That kind of open conversation allows us to get to the bottom of  what's going on.”

Maria Vandenberg MD, OB/GYN
“Building life-long relationships with my patients is an important part of my practice. There is no greater privilege than standing next to a woman as she transitions to adulthood, becomes a mom, and lives a healthy life.”

Kay Weina CNM
“It's your body and it's your baby, and it's your choice. These decisions are up to you. I'm just there to help you figure that out and to answer the questions that you might have.”

Therese Yarroch MD, OB/GYN
“We go through some critical times with our patients, and we are there to make a difference.”

Caring, Empathetic, Genuine: Meet Effie Siomos

Effie Siomos is a strong advocate for women taking steps to care for themselves.

“We need to do nice things for ourselves once in a while,” Siomos said. “Make time to meet a friend for lunch. Take a walk, ride a bike, sign up for a mud run. See your doctor.”

Wait, what?

“I know people don’t think of going to the doctor as something nice you can do for yourself, but just do it,” said the OB/GYN from Women’s Care of Wisconsin. “It will make your day-to-day life better.”

With special interests that include pregnancy care, performing in-office procedures and minimally invasive surgeries, and consults with moms and daughters to manage heavy periods or discuss birth control, Siomos has seen—countless times—women who have been dealing with issues for three, five seven years until they finally come in to see her.

In one classic exchange, a patient said she had been dealing with a problem in silence ever since the birth of her baby. Siomos asked how old her baby was.

“He’s going into high school,” was the reply.

“It’s easier to take care of our kids or our parents than it is to take care of ourselves,” said Siomos. “Just because your friend doesn’t have the issue doesn’t mean this is your lot in life. There are so many options to get you back to where you should be.”

Siomos loves good conversations with patients and feels that by paying close attention, she can make sure people are getting what they need at her office.

“Whatever the issue, there are physical symptoms that come with it, but there’s an emotional component as well, and paying attention to that really helps guide the treatment for what the patient wants or needs and what solution is best for them,” Siomos said.

Though a Chicagoland native, Siomos has spent her entire career practicing in rural communities, first in Beaver Dam following her residency, and now in Berlin.

“It’s a nice way to practice medicine,” said Siomos. “It just feels a little more personal. People look after each other.”

Such a perspective, said Siomos, dovetails perfectly with the culture at Women’s Care of Wisconsin, the organization she joined in 2019.

“A lot of times when you go to a doctor's office you're not just getting the doctor. You're getting the person at the front desk, you're getting the person who takes your blood pressure and puts you in a room, you’re talking to the nurse if you're calling with a question afterwards. There are all these layers to what makes a great experience, and that’s where Women’s Care of Wisconsin really stands out,” said Siomos. “It’s our people.”

With a family background in healthcare, it wasn’t surprising to see Siomos follow the path, as she weighed a university job against a more hands on career in the field. The latter solidified itself upon her first delivery, an experience she described as different from anything else she had experienced in med school.

“It was an amazing chance to be part of someone’s life at such a moment,” Siomos said. “It’s also an extraordinary opportunity to make an impact in ways that might not be typical for healthcare.”

Many days find Siomos in her Berlin clinic, spending time with patients discussing their concerns and healthcare goals and learning what’s important to them, while other days she’s in surgery for planned procedures such as a hysterectomy or the removal of cysts.

It’s a job with plenty of variety, which Siomos embraces.

“It’s a great way to get to know people, when you can sit down and talk to them about what decisions would be best in their life,” she said. “I get to teach and present what treatments are available and provide my patients with a clear understanding of their options,” said Siomos.

Gone are the days, she said, of patting someone on the knee and sending them on their way, often with the cursory (and demeaning) advice to just tough it out.

“There are so many different ways women want to interact with their health care,” said Siomos. “And we have so many ways to help.”

Dr. Effie Siomos sees patients at Women's Care of Wisconsin in Berlin, located at 225 Memorial Drive, Suite 2030. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Siomos, please call or text 920.729.7105.

Compassionate, Patient-Centered Care: Meet Allison Brubaker

 

A fertility specialist at Women's Care of Wisconsin, Dr. Allison Brubaker can swiftly identify a catalyst and inspiration for her interest in the field.

“My mom was told at one point she wouldn’t be able to have children,” said Brubaker. “I’m one of five she gave birth to.”

After being put in such a position—basically being told there was little to no hope other than to visit an adoption agency—Brubaker’s mother had the strength to persevere. But it’s a situation Brubaker doesn’t want other women to have to endure.

“I don’t want any woman to feel like that,” she said. "When women come to see me, I want them to know that there are options and there is someone to help them."

For Brubaker, helping families become pregnant is just one of the things she loves about being an OB/GYN. She enjoys all areas of obstetrics and has a particular passion for the minimally invasive surgical management of uterine fibroids, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, abnormal uterine bleeding, pelvic organ prolapse, and pelvic pain.

The first in her family to pursue a career in medicine, Brubaker was drawn to surgery and knew whatever specific field she chose would have a surgical component. It wasn’t until late in her rotations that she was involved with labor and delivery; she was hooked immediately.

“I was so empowered when I delivered my first baby,” Brubaker said. “It’s just so exciting.”

Brubaker embraces her role as a women’s healthcare specialist and enjoys the wide variety of patients she sees, from young women experiencing their first gynecology visit to those dealing with post-menopausal issues, as well as providing care to the LGBTQIA+ community.

“I believe strongly in patient-centered care,” said Brubaker. “That means listening to patients, educating them on their treatment options, discussing risks and benefits, and letting them choose what is best for their lifestyle.”

Speaking of patient-centered care, the words of a patient (in this case, Amanda) would be apropos: 

She is amazing! I am so grateful she was there to help me with my first delivery. Dr. Brubaker is very vigilant, knowledgeable, friendly and calm. I was so scared during labor, as our baby just wasn't wanting to make her appearance. The cord was around her neck & her heart rate kept dropping. The way Dr. Brubaker was so calm and straightforward really helped me stay calm myself. Her communication was great and she explained everything while also being encouraging. She also visited us the next day which showed me how passionate she is. Brubaker will forever hold a special spot in my heart because she successfully helped my daughter come into this world, healthy as can be!

Dr. Allison Brubaker sees patients at Women's Care of Wisconsin locations in Neenah and Oshkosh. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Brubaker, please call or text 920.729.7105.

Gwen’s Surrogacy Journey

Gwen & Kyle, far right, with their children Jacob, Abram, and Marcella. In the center, Sol and Robin, holding baby Gabriel.

“After having my three kids, I knew for sure I was done,” Gwen said.

Well, not exactly.

“But I’ve always had really good pregnancies. Easy deliveries. Fast deliveries,” she said. “I guess that’s part of the reason I kept having kids.”

Empathy is another.

“I have friends who have dealt with infertility, losses and miscarriages, and that just tears my heart out,” said Gwen. “So I started toying around with the idea of surrogacy, and soon enough I had done it three times.”

We followed up with a few questions, and Gwen generously answered every one.

Can you describe how you got started with becoming a surrogate?

Often times if people are interested, they’ll reach out to an agency. That’s how you get connected with other people. I did that as well. Then I joined Facebook surrogacy groups and did lots of research (about a year’s worth). Oh my goodness, there’s so much to learn. But I learned pretty quickly I didn't want to go through an agency after being on the Facebook groups and hearing parents looking for a surrogate say how much they wanted to move forward but they couldn’t afford the agency fee. They just didn’t have that kind of money. But I found out there was a way to cut out the middleman and do an independent journey where you’re matched with people. Yes, there’s all kinds of legalities to abide by, you need your own lawyers and have to go to court, and there’s a lot more work on both the intended parents’ and surrogate’s side of it, but you cut out the middleman.

Did you ever look at what stood in front of you and feel overwhelmed?

It can be a lot. It's like a part time job. Once you start getting into it, you realize all the things you have to do just to get to the point where you go for your embryo transfer—there's insurance, there's writing contracts, it's the expense part asking how much you want for this and how much you want for that, finding the lawyers, sending all your medical records. For a couple of months, you always feel like you're on the phone with somebody or emailing people.

We understand your first surrogacy was for a couple in the area. How did that come to be?

I had just mentioned to my neighbor that I was thinking about doing surrogacy, and she was like, ‘Really? Because I have this coworker and she's looking for a surrogate!’ Everything kind of just fell into place really nicely, right in my lap. And after the delivery I realized I wasn’t ready to be done. I went on to one of the Facebook match groups and that’s how I matched with a couple from New Jersey.

And how did the matching work out?

We’re so close with this family. I’ve talked to them just about every day since we first found each other in August of 2019. I delivered their daughter Emmie in 2020. And then they asked me to be a surrogate again with a boy embryo so Emmie would have a brother.

No pressure there, right?

They said, ‘We would love for you to be, but if you say no, we support you. We understand, we love you. Just pray on it.’ My husband was more like, ‘Kinda thought we were done.’ But I couldn’t imagine them asking somebody else to give Emmie their brother. It would break my heart. A totally selfish reason, right? But they’re like family now. The kids call me Auntie Gwen and my husband is Uncle Kyle. But a big part of it was worry. My husband and my oldest son were worried about me going through surrogacy one more time. I’m one of those people who just says, ‘Faith over fear. It’ll be fine. It’s fine. We’re fine. Everything’s fine.’ Sometimes that works out really well. Other times I probably should put more thought into things.

Would you describe your husband as being supportive of your choices?

Oh, gosh, he's just the best. I mean, he's one of those guys where I just come up with these crazy ideas and he's like, ‘Okay then, that's what we're doing. I got you; let’s do this.’ I’m so thankful for him. And he’s the most amazing labor coach ever!

We initially reached out to you when you entered our March Facebook contest. You posted a beautiful picture of the baby boy you delivered for the New Jersey couple, along with a comment that indicated that this birth wasn’t your typical easy delivery. Could you share that experience with us?

So labor was amazing. I had hardly any pain at all. I was super relaxed. I do natural births, so I'm just up, walking around. And everything's pretty normal. Kay (Women’s Care Midwife Kay Weina) was an awesome support. I mean, I loved everyone who delivered the babies before, but Kay was just so attentive. It was like having a doula there, only without having to pay for a doula. She's right there, helping me make decisions, making sure I’m comfortable. It was just awesome. So she said, ‘Okay, I think it's time to push’ and I was like, ‘Alright, cool.’ So it was maybe two pushes, and he was out. And it was not difficult at all. And he came out being super healthy. We already had known he had the diagnosis of having Down Syndrome. So sometimes when babies with Down Syndrome are born, it can be a little bit scary because they can need extra support with things like breathing and eating. But Gabriel was awesome. He had no issues. His vitals were great. He was stable. I thought I was stable. Kay thought I was I was stable. But . . .

Uh, oh. Wanna keep sharing?

Right when I thought everything was awesome, my nurse Megan (and I used to babysit Megan when she was a little girl!) said I was losing a little more blood than they liked. I was like, ‘Okay! I’m fine! Whatever!’ They kept checking. After about an hour I wasn’t feeling so great. I don’t know how to explain it. I just kind of crashed. They decided to give me some medication (Cytotec, which dissolves under your tongue and is disgusting) to help with the bleeding. Once it finished dissolving, I started shaking really bad. I couldn't control it. And then I got really, really cold, painfully cold. The teeth chattering kind of cold. I thought it was the medication, but they thought it was me losing too much blood. That’s when I got scared.

My husband was there. The intended mom, Robin, was there—she lost the first three hours with her newborn baby because she stayed with me. That’s the wonderful person she is. I told her, ‘Please, just go and be with your baby. That's where you need to be.’ She said, ‘That's not where I need to be. I'm not leaving you.’ I mean, how hard was that? You have this brand new, amazing baby, but you know, your surrogate’s trying to die on you. So Kay was gone and Megan called her and let her know what was going on. And she's like, ‘Well, you need to call whoever the OB is on the floor right now and have them come and assess her right away.’ I already had one IV in and needed a second one, but because I was shaking and dehydrated they were having difficulty getting that in. That wasn’t fun either.

So now I’m feeling like I’m going to pass out. But in my mind I felt if I passed out, I wasn’t ever going to wake up. At that moment, I looked at all the signs on the wall and was reading them over and over to keep my mind active. I’d read the time on the clock on the wall again and again. Earlier my seven-year-old felt something bad was going to happen. Before I left she said, ‘Mommy, what if you don't come home?’ And I told Marcella that would never happen. And then I just remember praying, saying to God if it's my time to go, it's your choice and I trust you. I trust You, Holy God. But for the sake of my children, please keep me here.

So the only OB on the floor was Dr. Schloesser, and she was in surgery. It was probably only five minutes before she arrived, but it felt like an eternity. She came in and could tell I was in distress. I had also lost the energy to talk. I was so depleted that they would ask me questions and all I could do was nod my head. And of course, there was so much I wanted to say, starting with ‘If I’m going to die, please tell my family that I love them.’

I had spiked a fever, my blood pressure was increasing, heart rate through the roof. Schloesser said she thought I was hemorrhaging and that I had retained some placenta and she was going to have to get it out. I knew what was coming—I didn’t have an epidural—but I really didn’t have a choice because it was that or an emergency hysterectomy. She said it was going to be really uncomfortable. And it was. It was awful. I think they said I lost twice as much blood as I was supposed to.

The next day when Robin and I had the chance to process all of this, we both talked about how we had prayed. Her prayer was to not let anything happen to me.

Can you tell us a little about Gabriel?

Well, you can see what a beautiful boy he from the picture I posted, right? He was born at 38 weeks and he just turned 38 weeks, so Robin did this really cool picture with Gabriel saying, ‘I’m out as long as I was in today.’ He’s almost nine months and he’s doing so good.

Now that your surrogacy journey is over, would you have changed anything?

There is nothing that I would change. Everything happens for a reason. Would I have preferred to not have the traumatic incident happen right after Gabriel was born? Absolutely. But God kept me safe as we prayed.

What is something you learned about yourself throughout this journey?

I am stronger than I ever knew I was. While labor was easy, the transition into the scary stuff was extremely hard. It was a moment where I felt close to God; it only strengthened my faith.

How did this journey affect your own family?

These types of things make you realize how quickly your life can change. While we always make sure to say our ‘I love you's,' it definitely made us appreciate all the moments and time we have together. There have been moments even up until today where we reflect and share tears about it; it's all part of the healing process.

Finally, how do you put into words the difference you have made in the lives of others by taking this journey?

That’s a hard one for me to answer. I do not feel anything I did was extraordinary. I simply did what was in my heart to do. I love talking about surrogacy and I am always happy to help those looking into surrogacy. I often get messages and questions from strangers about how to proceed with their own journey and that has been one of the best parts, aside from bringing 3 awesome children into the world.

*             *             *

Coda, from Robin:

I can’t even begin to imagine how Gwen felt . . . how scared she was. I know how scared I was watching what was happening to her and I am certain my fear was nothing compared to hers. 

I have never seen someone shake the way she was and she had 10 blankets on her. I held her hand, I had my lips on her forehead and she was burning up. The whole thing was surreal. Kyle and I would look at each other, tears in our eyes, and the fear of what may be passed between us without words.  

Gwen told you we prayed. That I told her I prayed that nothing would happen to her. That is true. What I didn’t tell her (and she is finding out as she reads this) is that yes, I prayed to G-d that he wouldn’t take her. I told him that I didn’t want him to have to take anyone, but if he did . . . to take Gabriel and not her. Her family COULD NOT lose her. I COULD NOT lose her. Gwen is selfless and this story could not end like this. Thank G-d our prayers were answered for the good! Faith over Fear has been our motto since the beginning. We held on to that. Faith won once again. 

You never know what life has in store. The fact that 5 years ago I didn’t even know Gwen existed boggles my mind. How we went from total strangers to family. We always say we are girl soulmates. It’s 100 percent true! Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. Had I been able to carry my own children I would not know the Morans. A life without knowing them is not something I would ever want. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the nurses and doctors that sprung into quick action that day. It’s because of you (and of course G-d) that we are here writing this with smiles. The nurses that took care of all of us the next few days were also amazing! Your facility is amazing as are the people who care for the patients. Thank you! 

I am counting down the days until we are together for Gabriel’s 1st Birthday!

Emmie can't wait to meet her little brother.

Janelle's Journey

“Nobody prepares you for the thief miscarriage is. I feel if I can share my story, it might help somebody else from suffering alone, because they're not alone.”

Janelle took a deep breath, paused, and then apologized.

“I’m sorry if I cry."

And then she began:

It was my first pregnancy, June of 2021. We had our first appointment. I felt great. They said everything looked great. Go ahead, tell the world, we're so excited for you. And then just shy of 12 weeks we miscarried.

And there was no reason for it.

We had no bleeding or anything up until that point. I remember clearly it was a Sunday morning when I first noticed some bleeding, then called on Monday. They got me in as soon as possible. Dr. Swift was in surgery that day when we found out our baby didn't have a heartbeat. While still trying to process the loss of our baby the Dr. gave us all of our options, which is kind of overwhelming. My husband and I went home and I decided on a D&C. That day was a whirlwind as my appointment was at 8:30am and I was at the hospital for the D&C at 1:30pm.

While we were in the pre-op room for the D&C, Dr. Swift came in. You could see the genuine shock and concern on her face. She was as surprised as we were, as a couple weeks prior everything was great. She said she wanted to do some genetic testing on our baby if we were okay with it. She said, ‘I don't understand why this happened. I want to have peace of mind just as much as you do. Would you be okay if we did that?’

I said yes.

And she said, ‘We've got two options: we can either run the genetic testing through the hospital, which will cost you an arm and a leg, or, if you're okay with it, I’ll run back to my office and grab one of our kits and have it sent out this afternoon.’ So she ran from the pre-op room all the way back to the clinic to get a DNA testing kit for me and my husband. I know it's not about money, but, yes, it is about money. Because we were looking at thousands of dollars’ worth of medical bills had she not done that for us. She cared enough to run back all the way to her clinic to get this testing kit and came all the way back.

She didn't have to do that. 

I had the D&C in August of 2021; everything went well. Then at my follow up appointment Dr. Swift shared the results of the genetic testing: there was nothing wrong with our baby. It was perfectly healthy. So they don't know why it happened to us. But it did. Like it does to many. Because of that Dr. Swift wanted to do some other testing, with my permission. She said, ‘I want to eliminate if you have a blood clotting disorder or some underlying condition that we don't normally check for with low risk pregnancy.’

There's wasn't really a reason to expect a miscarriage to happen. I wasn't high risk. I had no underlying conditions. I was 29 at the time; I was a fit, healthy person, so it left my husband and me heartbroken and dumbfounded. But Dr. Swift had a game plan. ‘Here’s what we're going to do for when you get pregnant the next time, just to make sure that we've ruled out everything that we can control on our end.’

She didn't have to do that, but she cares so much for her patients.

I know people whose doctors dismissed them with a 'Yep, you had a miscarriage; happens to one in four,’ and then they expect their patients to just go about their day. Swift isn't like that; she wanted to make sure that we covered all of our bases so that my husband and I could have our family.

My miscarriage left this empty, hollow person for a long time. And to this day I still think about when we found out our first baby would have been a girl. Who would she be today? Would she look like me or would she look like her daddy? Would she have my personality? Or his? Also, a dear friend who's a photographer created a beautiful photo shoot to tell my stepson that he was going to be a big brother. We had all this excitement bursting within us, so we told the world and right after we told the world we lost her. And then we had to tell my stepson he wasn’t going to be a big brother anymore because for reasons unknown to us God needed our baby . . . 

*******

After trying for almost a whole year and not succeeding, we finally got pregnant again. As soon as they found out I was pregnant, Women’s Care was like, ‘We want you to come in. We want to monitor your levels, make sure everything is progressing the way that it needs to.’ They were with me every step of the way. If I had any questions, I never hesitated to call because Dr. Swift and her team never treated me like I was a burden. It was always, ‘We've got room for you. Let’s get you in and get you taken care of.’

I was induced two weeks early because I experienced a heavier amount of bleeding than I should have. I had my 38 week check up on December 28, 2022. I also was exhausted and very fatigued. I had to drag myself to do every little thing. Something was not right. And then the bleeding got worse. I was in the following day, December 29, to monitor for contractions. Still bleeding. 

Swift said we were going to get the baby out now.

The induction process went really smooth and I progressed nicely. Labor started at around 2:00pm. The whole time I was in labor Dr. Swift came in and checked on me. Our daughter was born at 7:43pm. She was full of life right from the start and has continued to develop that little personality (she’s 15 months old this week).

Her name is Wilomena. I call her Mena. My stepson calls her Wilo. My husband calls her Lolo. She loves our pets and her brother is the light of her life.

And she is the light of ours.

*******

I’m currently pregnant now with our second child. We’ve been quiet about it just like with Wilomena, but I think sharing my experience at this time is important. I can tell you every single day of my life, even with my daughter and now with this pregnancy, miscarriage just sits there in the back of your mind and robs a lot of joy and happiness that you should be feeling. Because there's always that what if.

What if I lose this one too?

The beginning part of my pregnancy hasn't been easy. I had bleeding once again and those very same thoughts were present. But we’ve had a few extra appointments and ultrasounds. We’re at 15 weeks now and the baby is healthy and developing appropriately. As I said, nobody prepares you for the thief miscarriage is. I’d like to say I’m fully healed, but part of that grief is always in your heart.

If sharing my story can help one person not suffer in silence, I think that would be wonderful.