Midwifery Myths

Even though midwifery has evolved alongside today’s modern health care system, many myths surrounding this profession are based in common misunderstandings that are centuries old. Women’s Care of Wisconsin believes that education is a powerful tool, so we’ve teamed up with our three certified nurse midwives to set the record straight! 

Kay Weina, Jenny Taubel and Elise Gessler have more than 50 years of combined experience as certified nurse midwives and are passionate about the work they do.

Myth #1: Midwives are just untrained labor coaches.

Despite this myth’s popularity, certified nurse midwives often start out as labor and delivery nurses. While labor and delivery nurses are required to hold a bachelor’s in Nursing, certified nurse midwives go back to school to get their Master of Science degree in Nursing (MSN). They are also required to pass a national certification exam and maintain that certification by meeting continuing education requirements.  Combined with their training and medical expertise, this qualifies them to deliver babies.

“I think a lot of nurse midwives were labor and delivery nurses to begin with, like us,” said Kay, who was a labor and delivery nurse for 10 years before going back to school. “When you’re a labor and delivery nurse, you get that patient to delivery, and when you get to that point, the doctor comes in to catch the baby. I always thought -- well gosh! -- that’s the best part! I could do that!”

“I like to think of our role as an OB-GYN Nurse Practitioner, with the added special perk of delivering babies,” said Jenny.

Myth #2: Midwives can only deliver babies at home.

“We do not deliver at home, but we can refer you to some of the licensed professional midwives in the area that would provide you with that type of care,” Jenny said.

According to the American Midwifery Certification Board, 94.1% of CNM-attended births occurred in hospitals in 2017. That same year, 3.2% occurred in freestanding birth centers and just 2.6% occurred in homes.

At Women’s Care of Wisconsin, our certified nurse midwives’ practice is strictly hospital births only, with Kay primarily delivering at the ThedaCare Regional Medical Center-Neenah and Jenny going back and forth between ThedaCare Regional Medical Center-Appleton and ThedaCare Regional Medical Center-Neenah. Elise has stopped her OB practice and is working in the role of a nurse practitioner. She can still see pregnant patients for occasional visits but is no longer available as a delivering provider. Elise works out of Women’s Care of Wisconsin’s Appleton clinic and still provides care for women throughout the lifespan.  

Myth #3: If I choose to have a midwife, my birth has to be all natural.

“I think a lot of people wonder, if you choose a midwife, do you have to have a natural birth? And I think a lot of women probably seek out midwifery because they’re looking for a non-medicated or low-intervention birth, but we certainly can provide medications,” Kay said.

While you can choose to have a natural birth with your midwife, certified nurse midwives are licensed, independent health care providers who can prescribe medications in all 50 states. This includes IV medications and epidurals, which can be an option during labor even for women who originally wanted a natural birth but change their mind during the delivery.

“I think the biggest thing about midwifery care is that we want to listen to the women, we want to give them options, and we want your birth experience to be the most positive one because you’re telling your birth stories forever!” said Kay.

“I like to think of myself as a ‘travel guide’ through a woman’s pregnancy, labor, and delivery journey,” said Jenny. “I’m here to offer comfort, support, encouragement, education, and help in making decisions when needed.”

Myth #4: If I choose to have a midwife, I am putting my baby at risk if something goes wrong.

If you’re considering working with a midwife, but worried about what would happen to your baby if something goes wrong, you can relax! Our certified nurse midwives partner with Women’s Care of Wisconsin OB-GYN physicians through collaboration and referral to provide the best possible care.

“We have a great group of very supportive physicians that are on call and available to us around the clock, so if you develop a concern, such as high blood pressure, preterm labor, or a problem during labor, we have those physicians to consult with,” Jenny said.

While this doesn’t necessarily mean your certified nurse midwife will transfer care, it could mean you will have a team of people working with you to ensure you have a healthy pregnancy rather than working with just one healthcare provider.

“There are some situations where a pregnancy starts off as low risk, but a new problem causes it to become high risk, and then we transfer care to the physicians,” said Jenny.

Certified nurse midwives are also available to assist physicians in the event of a C-section.

“If patients have had a previous cesarean delivery, and would like to schedule a repeat C-section, I can still see them for prenatal care and be there to assist in the surgery with the MD, which is really nice,” said Jenny.

Myth #5: Midwives only work with women who are pregnant.

“We see patients from adolescence all the way up to menopause,” said Elise.

While many people think of midwifery as a practice solely focused on pregnancy and childbirth, nurse midwifery actually encompasses a full range of gynecological health care services.

“We offer contraceptive counseling for all methods and procedures to insert or remove IUDs and Nexplanon, screen for and treat STIs or vaginal infections, do preventative wellness exams, and treat menopausal issues,” Elise said.

The services midwives offer also include primary care, gynecologic and family planning services, preconception care and postpartum care.

Your Child's First GYN Visit

For many young people with a uterus, the thought of seeing a gynecologist for the first time can feel scary or even embarrassing, but this should be a time when they feel comfortable and able to ask questions about development and body changes. We talked with Dr. Valary Gass of Women’s Care of Wisconsin to provide you with the information you need to help your child feel more positive and less stressed out about the first gynecologist visit.

At What Age Should I Schedule the First Gynecologist Visit?

“The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology recommends that people with uteruses between the ages of 13-15 visit with a gynecologist,” Dr. Gass explains. “For many parents, a reasonable time to talk about scheduling this first appointment is after the first menstrual period. The real purpose of this appointment is to establish a relationship between your child and the gynecologist so they can feel comfortable asking questions and learn about what changes to expect as time goes on.”

Preparing for Your Child’s First Gynecologist Visit

The most important thing you can do to help ease your child’s nerves is talk about the visit. Explain why this visit is important and what can be expected. Having an open dialogue with your child will encourage questions and increase comfort about the experience.

It is also a good idea to have your child create a list of questions for the gynecologist before the visit. Sometimes being nervous can cause us to be forgetful, so writing these questions down on a piece of paper will help make sure everything is answered.

Common topics for questions include periods, hormones, birth control, sex, and sexually transmitted infections. These are all normal topics for your child to have questions about. Remind your child that anything discussed with the gynecologist is protected by privacy laws. The gynecologist should be a safe and judgement-free space, so your child shouldn’t feel embarrassed about asking questions.

What Your Child Can Expect During the Visit

“Most of the time, a child’s first gynecologist appointment does not involve a pelvic exam,” Dr. Gass says, “but it should include taking a careful medical history, addressing any concerns like bad periods, and considering things like HPV vaccinations.” During your child’s first gynecologist visit, expect to have a general physical exam where the nurse will record height, weight, and blood pressure. The gynecologist may then check for common health problems and talk about any medical history. Listening to heart, lungs, and feeling the abdomen should be expected. Sexually active persons under age 25 should have annual gonorrhea and chlamydia screening. This can be done at the visit with a simple urine test. The gynecologist will ask about sexual activity and address any need for contraception.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that this visit is an opportunity for your child to speak openly with the gynecologist and ask questions.

When Is a Pelvic Exam Necessary?

“The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology suggests that most people with a cervix begin regular Pap smear screening at age 21,” Dr. Gass says. At that point, regular screening should continue every three years until age 30 when they can switch to having a Pap smear with HPV co-testing every five years. Your child most likely will not need a pelvic exam during the first gynecologist visit, unless there are complaints of lumps, bumps, pelvic pain, or abnormal discharge. In these instances, the gynecologist may decide a pelvic exam is necessary. Our office offers nitrous oxide to help patients relax during exams or procedures if needed.

When Should My Child Stop Seeing the Pediatrician?

Once your child is seeing a gynecologist regularly, you may wonder if they need to continue seeing the pediatrician. This is largely up to you and depends on the specific needs your child has as well as the gynecologist’s preference for their practice. It is perfectly normal for your child to continue seeing a pediatrician into college and it can be helpful with a complicated medical history. Just make sure your child continues the annual gynecologist visit as well.

For More Information:

https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/your-first-gynecologic-visit

https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/should-my-teen-see-an-ob-gyn-heres-what-i-tell-parents

Schedule An Appointment

If you would like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Gass, please call or text us at 920.729.7105.

A Conversation About Fertility

Dealing with fertility problems is hard. About one in six couples are troubled with fertility issues, and it affects both men and women equally. 

Simply put, a lot goes into the conception process. There’s the egg, sperm, fallopian tubes, fertilization, the women’s embryo, hormones, and not to mention each of those pieces needing to be in a healthy state. All but one of those parts could function properly and infertility could still be the result. We at Women’s Care of Wisconsin are here for those times. We specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of infertility and will help you navigate this journey to make your dreams come true.

In having a conversation about fertility, here are some common questions regarding the process, treatments, and how we’re here to help.

How long do you wait before speaking with a doctor about possible fertility issues?

Fertility can happen at many points within a lifetime, and infertility issues differ at each of those points as well. A general rule of thumb is if you are over or under the age of 35. Couples under the age of 35 statistically have better chances of conceiving, yet should look into additional options after a year of actively trying (actively trying means you are having intercourse around ovulatory times month by month). Patients over the age of 35 should intervene just after six months.

Can you explain the difference between IUI and IFV?

The big technical difference is where the fertilization of the egg and sperm takes place. During IUI, the doctor inserts the sperm directly into the uterus to fertilize. With IVF, the egg and sperm are manually combined in a laboratory dish and then transferred to the uterus. We can facilitate any IUI treatments by providing medication, tracking cycles, and stimulating the ovulation cycle while collecting and processing the sperm to be placed in the uterus in our own office. If you were to choose the IVF route, we would be the helping hand in that process of referring our best local clinics in the area to take care of you, then assisting once you choose your preferred facility.

When would you recommend IVF to a patient?

We recommend each individual go through the initial testing and treatment options, then work in a conversation about additional options following those. Usually, we would like to start an IVF discussion with a patient after 3-4 rounds of insemination. However, time frames will be individualized to each couple depending on a multitude of personal factors.

So, no matter if you’re just starting to think of the conception process or you are months or years in, Women’s Care of Wisconsin is here to provide education, diagnosis, and treatments, and be with you every step of the way. It’s our goal to make your dreams of having a baby a reality. More information can be found in our fertility booklet.

To schedule your own personal consultation, call or text 920.729.7105 to set up an appointment with one of our three fertility specialists. Click on the provider names below to learn more about each.

Dr. Allison Brubaker 

Dr. Amanda Reed 

Dr. Sara Swift

Understanding Incontinence

Did you know that 50% of women have incontinence at some point in their life? Here’s what you can do to take control.

Incontinence is the loss of urine in an uncontrollable fashion. There are many reasons as to why people have it. Some of them are very easy to treat successfully and are easily cured, and some of them are very challenging to cure. But we can usually get significant improvement with treatment. Incontinence is one of my favorite conditions to see a new patient with; I can often cure them outright and almost always make a big improvement for them with fairly little intervention.

Most people put up with it and hope that it’s going to get better, or put if off until tomorrow, only to realize that several years have passed and it’s only gotten worse.

In generations past, people have looked at the loss of urine as a normal part of aging or normal consequences of childbearing, both of which I think are mistakes. What I would encourage people to think about is the fact that although incontinence is not painful, it’s not normal. People really don’t like to deal with it because it’s embarrassing. But they should realize, it’s very common, and often very easy to treat.

However, correctly treating incontinence means also that you have an understanding of what the true diagnosis is, very much like a headache. There are many different causes for it and the headache itself is usually a symptom of an underlying abnormality of some type, just as incontinence can be caused by many different things. 

Relief for women dealing with bladder control issues typically takes one of three routes:

• It can be as simple as a 10-minute outpatient procedure or a prescription for  medication.
• It may require a combination of therapies to get someone to a much better function.
• Sometimes we need to treat an underlying, undiagnosed urinary tract infection, which should be evaluated further, as it could possibly be a sign of other diseases such as MS or diabetes. 

There are varying levels of incontinence, all of which can be diagnosed and treated to help you return to a normal, active lifestyle.

Spasm and bladder irritability:

• Conditions where a person is urinating frequently and up a lot at night with a sudden sense of urgency (similar to the television commercials you see).
• Tends to be a neurologic, irritational aspect to the bladder.
• There are a handful of different medications that are typically used to treat this.

Stress incontinence:

• People leak a small amount of predictable urine every time they cough, sneeze, lift or jump.
• Will not get better with time.
• Often times this can be treated effectively with proper Kegel exercises, but a lot of times that treatment requires ongoing and continuous exercise by the person, and sometimes even then it won’t hold up over time.
• Should that fail, we can proceed with a small, 15-minute, outpatient procedure that is very successful (such as some type of sling procedure), which in the past was a very big surgery and nowadays really can be done quickly with a very fast return to full function status.

When incontinence affects how you function, what you’re doing, your clothing choices or travel plans, it’s just a shame not to get an evaluation and treatment—because so often, it is actually fairly easy to fix with many different treatment modalities. 

Suffice it to say, there are many treatments for many different causes in the many unique types of patients out there. But I would encourage readers to not for a minute think that this is a normal part of aging and something they simply have to “put up with.”  I would encourage them to seek medical evaluation and intervention, because if you’re thinking about the fact that you’re leaking urine, then it is probably affecting you on a daily basis.

Dr. Eric Eberts is an Obstetrician/Gynecologist at Women’s Care of Wisconsin.

The providers at Women’s Care of Wisconsin are devoted to you and your health. That means having the most advanced techniques, up-to-date educational information and a compassionate, caring staff. Our providers offer a well-rounded approach to your OB/GYN care, one that meets both your physical and emotional needs throughout every phase of your life. We call it our Circle of Care. And it begins with you.

Kaitlin's Surrogacy Story

And the last of the follow ups from our Mother’s Day contest, we had a conversation with Kaitlin about her surrogacy experience.

Her contest entry (and one of our favorites): “Mother’s Day is a reminder that giving birth is not the only way to become a mother. Whether it’s through adoption, surrogacy, becoming a step-parent, fostering… the list can go on, it’s about the person who chooses to love and protect her child unconditionally.”

In her own words, this is Kaitlin’s Story:

From little on, I feel like most girls dream of motherhood someday. I was one of those little girls. I couldn’t wait to become a mom. But my world came crashing down when I was told it would be unsafe for me to carry a pregnancy. So that was really difficult to go through, and then things snowball and really affect you not just emotionally but mentally as well. 

I want to mention Dr. Reed. I had been seeing her and when she found out the news, she gave me this big bear hug, and that's the first time I actually just let me emotions out, and sobbed. She just held me while I cried. I mean, she didn't have to do that. When people go out of their way to be kind, that's unfortunately a rarity nowadays, so that really stuck out to me. Later, she helped initiate our surrogacy journey. I haven’t seen Dr. Reed in a couple years, but she really played a key role—whether she knows it or not—in getting our little girl.

Once we decided to go the surrogacy route, which is intimidating, because it's considered so expensive (which it absolutely is), we decided to do it on our own rather than through an agency. Yes, an agency will do more of the work for you, and have everything set up and matched with a screened surrogate. But we decided to do that work on our end, as it was more financially appropriate in our case. First, before we went public with our surrogate search, we wanted to make sure we had viable embryos (which through the IVF process, we did), and five made it through the genetic testing. Then we started looking for a surrogate.

Our first thought was, “How the heck are we going to do this?” It’s not like you can go to your next-door neighbor and ask them questions about the surrogacy process. It’s kind of an unknown thing. That's why I'm always open to talking about surrogacy, because there's so many myths about it and so many hoops to jump through.

We decided to use the social media route to find a surrogate, posted a nice picture of Tyler and me, asked friends to share, etc. We had a ton of people respond, which was amazing, but very intimidating too. We are essentially trusting a total stranger with your child’s life, so how do you go about building that trust with those you are vetting?

The woman who ended up being our surrogate, Brooke, really stuck out to me and my husband. We met for dinner and she and her husband said this was something they really wanted to do. We just really hit it off. Our morals and values lined up, and it was one of those relationships where you don't have to try; it was very easy to communicate and build a friendship. So we got very lucky and were very blessed in that regard.

Later, we took care of the compensation portion of the surrogacy. If we used an agency, that agreement would have already been completed when matching with a surrogate. We started with fertility lawyers to assist with the surrogacy contract. It’s a hard conversation to have about the “what ifs” with complications of pregnancy. Every hypothetical situation had to have an agreement/ compensation. As our fertility lawyer put it, we’re compensating for her discomfort. We agreed on decisions as couples, and the lawyers wrote up a contract for us to sign. And we continued from there.

I was at every appointment, every ultrasound. Brooke was fantastic with involving me. She wouldn't have an appointment without me being there, which made me feel a little bit more at ease in the process. We got to see Gracyn before she even had a heartbeat, and then we came back a week later, and you could see her little heartbeat flickering. We knew at a very early stage when Brooke was confirmed pregnant. As the pregnancy progressed, I was honestly nervous all the time. Waking up nauseous, just praying this pregnancy was healthy. But once we made it past that first trimester, you feel a little less sick to your stomach every day.

Gracyn was a planned C section due to Brooke previously having one with her own child. The hospital was great in the delivery process. They had my husband and me put on sterile scrubs for the OR, as well as her husband. Once Brooke was prepped with an epidural, they brought me into the OR to be with her. Essentially, kind of in the role of the husband or the father. Where you sit by her head, hold her hand, and support her as much as possible. I wanted to be the best advocate for her, and make sure she was always okay. Both of our husbands were in the hallway and they could see in a little window. 

Once Gracyn was born, I noticed her little dimples right away, and fell in love. When she took her first breath, I kissed Brooke on the forehead while crying, and just kept telling her thank you. Then they had me and my husband go into a little side room where they take care of baby and brought her husband into the OR so he could be with Brooke. It was a really cool experience how they involved all of us, and being able to see Gracyn be born was jaw dropping and nothing less than incredible. 

It was different for what you imagine your life would play out to be, but it was absolutely amazing and such a beautiful, selfless process.

I did have some worries, like, how is Gracyn going to know I'm mom? That's a big thing that kind of sat in the back of my head. But as soon as I held her and we did skin to skin, she started crawling up to my chest and stopped crying when her ear was on top of my heart. That just made me break down because she knew, and I was instantly a comfort for her. That still gives me goosebumps when I talk about it.

We asked Brooke to be her godmother. So after Gray was born and we situated a little bit, we put her in a little onesie that said, “Hi, Auntie, will you be my godmother?” We wrapped her up in a little swaddle. So when Brooke was ready post op and feeling a little bit better, we brought Gray in to meet her. I told Brooke, “Look at her toes!” to initiate her to unravel it so she could see the onesie. We were so proud of Brooke, and the gift of life she gave us. 

I always get the same questions (and I’ve learned to feel the questions without people even asking them). I answer them like this: “Yes, we went through surrogacy. She was completely our bun. We just used a different oven.” It's just for people to understand more, because it's just not talked about, how many different ways there are to start a family. And now that I have a child myself, nothing's more special than the people around you who choose to love your child. 

When love becomes a choice, it’s such a beautiful thing. 

I was asked if I was to provide advice to someone in a similar situation, what would I say? I’d say take however long you need to grieve, to be upset, to try to understand what's happening, and then when you're ready, when it becomes a choice, to move forward and decide how you want to tackle it. Educate yourself—on surrogacy, adoption, fostering, whatever—and do your best to move forward with a positive attitude. Because getting that news can be so destructive and can really break you down.

But know this: when you're in the dark and feeling hopeless, all that goes away once you have your baby in your arms.

Amber's Story

"Being a mom is my entire world!"

So began Amber’s submission for our Mother’s Day contest.

In a 14-minute post-Mother’s Day phone call, she generously (and often hilariously) added detail.

Told in 14 quotes, this is Amber’s Story:

1. I struggled so long and never thought I would get the opportunity to become a mom. 
2. My husband and I tried for years to naturally conceive, and it just wasn’t working. Growing up you just assume it’s really easy to get pregnant. I spent all those years preventing it, and then you're like, “Okay, well, apparently it's not as easy as I thought.”
3. Unsuccessful fertility treatments were exhausting, both physically and emotionally. You plan everything out, and then you don’t get the results you want. It's so frustrating. And you're like, “Oh, these people keep getting pregnant. Why can't I?”
4. Towards the end of 2020, I stopped taking all the medications. And I thought, “If it happens, it happens.” At that point, I didn't even expect I was ever going to have kids, and I just kind of accepted it.
5. You know how at the end of the year you make your New Year's resolutions? I said to myself, “I'm gonna start working on myself, lose weight and just try to make better choices and be healthier.” So I started a new diet, was working out, and I lost 25 pounds. And then on Valentine's Day of 2021, I found out I was pregnant. It was exciting, but then I was like, “Well, there goes my hot girl summer.”
6. When I got pregnant, I sent my husband a picture of the test. I had so many tests. I pretty much bought in bulk on Amazon all the cheapy little tests, and I took, like, three of them, just to make sure. He thought I sent him a picture of an ovulation test, because I've sent those in the past. I have a picture of him holding the real deal with a surprised look.
7. It took six long years of fertility treatments and testing and I finally had my now three-and-a-half-year-old son, Austin. He made me realize how amazing motherhood is! He opened my heart up to so many emotions I never even knew I could feel.  
8. Literally the day that I had Austin, I looked at my husband and I said, “I'm ready for another one!” And he was like, “What?” But after having Austin I knew I wanted to give him a younger sibling to grow up with. Three years later I got to bless him with a little baby brother, Callum. He’s four months old now.
9. With my second child, I didn't do any fertility. I just was like, “If it's meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
10. Austin loves Callum. He is always talking to him and playing with him. Callum just smiles every time Austin talks. It's really cute. I think they'll grow up and love/hate each other.
11. Women's Care has been with me every step of the way and I am so grateful for every single person that works there. They were all so kind and helpful. I started with Elise (Gessler), and she was wonderful. But I had gestational diabetes, and she was not a high-risk provider, so I switched over to Gretchen (Augustine), who delivered both my children. I've had numerous providers for my appointments at Women’s Care, and I've never had a bad experience.
12. And I want to give a shout out to Alicia, one of the Medical Assistants. I really enjoyed working with her; she made me feel really, really comfortable. She’s so down to earth, just super easy to get along with.
13. I'm 38 now. Do I want another one, or do I want to be done? At first, my husband said, “We're done.” Then it was, “If you want one more, we can do one more.” But if it's going to be another three years, I don't know if I want to be that old having another baby.
14. My husband is older than I am and has kids from previous marriages. His 24-year-old son just had a baby a couple of weeks ago. So technically we’re grandparents with a four-month-old.

 

 

 

Jen's Story

"Motherhood is not knowing you could hold this much love in your heart for another human but not wanting anything different."

Jen posted those words for our Mother’s Day contest.

Here’s the story behind the sentence.

The Hardest Thing

The first thing you should probably know about me is that I am the most type A personality you could probably ever meet. I'm a 2nd grade teacher, so I just plan everything to the T. When we thought about what would be a great time to have kids, we thought if I could have a baby in April or May, that would be perfect, because then I would have two months of maternity leave and get the summer with our baby.

When we decided we wanted to bring a baby into the world, we got pregnant right away, and he was due April 2. Perfect timing, right? This is all going according to plan! But becoming a parent has taught me I can still be type A, and have a plan, but it is so okay to just go with the flow.

My baby is now my whole world, and he kind of directs the timing of everything, and that's a beautiful thing. So I think the hardest thing about becoming a mom was really just learning to give up my routine and the normalcy of the life that I had grown so accustomed to.

When I hit those first two weeks of being postpartum, where you go through the most intense hormonal changes of your life, and all the emotions that go with that, well, that was really hard. Trying to take care of my baby with the help of my husband while going through that taught me so much about really being selfless and giving up parts of me to take care of my baby.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

It’s Not Just the Eggs Benedict

Luckily, my husband is so supportive.

I literally could not have done it without him. Through pregnancy, through labor and delivery, I mean

I didn't have a doula at the hospital, but he filled that position. I'm not kidding. I could not have done it without him. And that continued through postpartum, even now when he's back at work, back at his normal routine. He’s so attentive.

It’s all the little things. He made sure that I always had a snack and water when I sat down to feed Luke. He always made sure that the kitchen was cleaned up before I went to bed (because of my type A personality). He was just amazing. And he supported me, and continues to support me through this journey of motherhood.

So even on the hard days where I'm home and maybe Luke's been fussier than normal, and my husband knows that because I've been texting him, he comes home and he's like, “Let me take him. You go take a shower. I got this.”

One more small moment: During pregnancy I craved Eggs Benedict but stayed away from it. Two days after we had brought Luke home, my husband came in and gently woke me up. He made me homemade Eggs Benedict and a homemade latte. And he's an amazing cook!

Content or Fussy?

It didn't take very long for me to figure out Luke’s cues of when he's hungry, when he's tired, when he’s overtired. And he is a great sleeper. Like on Mother's Day weekend, it was the first time he slept five hours straight. So I slept five hours straight! It was incredible. 

He doesn't have a routine yet, because he's just seven weeks old, but I can be pretty certain that he'll take shorter naps in the morning, and then he'll take his one and a half to two and a half hour naps in the afternoon.

So he's been awesome from the beginning, and he’s even self-soothing. We put him in his bassinette at night and he just rocks, and he falls asleep by himself. He's amazing. He is such a content baby.

I remember taking him to his one-month pediatrician appointment, and they ask you if your baby is content or fussy, and I said, “Listen, he's content 90% of the time, and when he's fussing, I pretty much know what he needs to not be fussy.

And the pediatrician's like, “Well, just wait till six weeks, because that's usually when they become not so content.”

He's still content.

A Swift Decision

My husband is an intense researcher. After we found out we were pregnant, immediately he was like, “We gotta find the best!” 

So we did a deep dive about hospitals and providers in the area (we live in New London). We ended up choosing ThedaCare-Neenah. I knew I wanted a natural birth, but I wanted to do it in the hospital setting in case anything went wrong.

And when we looked at all the providers, we watched Dr. Swift's videos, read the testimonials on her page, and she just seemed like a perfect fit.

Like I remember in her video, she talks about being the pilot. She wants women to feel empowered, to have the birth they want, but also to trust that if things take a turn, that she's the pilot and she’s going to direct things to make sure everything goes smoothly. And that just resonated with me, even before I got her.

We called and made an appointment with her, and from the second we met her, I remember just feeling so at peace. I told her how I wanted to give birth. I wanted very minimal interventions and wanted things to go smoothly, but I also wanted a doctor who's going to support me yet be honest when things might need to take a turn.

And I remember Dr. Swift saying, “Girl, you can give birth on your head if you want to as long as it happens safely."

The Day You Become a Mom

The night before I went to the hospital I had my 39-week appointment because I thought my water broke at home, but I wasn't sure. And I thought, well, I'm seeing Dr. Swift in the morning; she'll tell me if that's the case. So I went in early the next morning, and she checked me and said, “Yeah, girl, you're water broke and you're already four centimeters. Call your husband, tell him to get his butt over here, and I'm sending you up to labor and delivery.”

And I just remember sitting there with this overwhelming amount emotion overcoming me and I was like, “Can I cry?”

And she said, “Girl, do whatever you need to do. Feel however you're going to feel. Now, let's go have a baby!”

My appointment was at 10:00am with her, and Luke wasn't born until 10:08pm, so her shift was well over. But there she was in our room, for three hours before he was born, sitting on the floor, walking around, sitting on the couch, encouraging me the whole time. She didn't have to sit in our room for three hours. She could have left. She has kids.

I remember looking at her one time, I think when I was about seven centimeters dilated, and I was like, “When is this gonna happen?”

She said, “It's going take time, and it's going get worse, and you can do it!” I was doing it all natural, so I appreciated her brutal honesty; she never sugar-coated things. But when I got to the stage of actively pushing, she was so encouraging.

I just knew I could count on her, not just to bring Luke into the world, but to help me bring him into the world.

And the Day You Have to Go Back to Work

I'm going to lay another whammy on you, because the planner in me is very stressed because I'm not going back to 2nd grade: I’m going to 3rd grade. I found out that news three weeks postpartum.

And I feel very honored to be selected. The principal knows I'll support the kids who are moving into that grade level well. I'll get to have some of my same kids back who had pushed me through my pregnancy, and that'll help. They met Luke last week. So that'll be really exciting.

It'll be a good learning experience, both to trust that someone else can take care of him and to go back to something I'm passionate about, balancing my two passions of being a mom and being a teacher.

But I think it will be the hardest thing I will ever do, leaving my baby with someone else.

It will probably be harder than giving birth.

What’s Up with the Dog?

Our dog has been our first baby. He's just turned four when we had Luke, so he's only known life as a single, with a young couple doting on him. When we brought Luke home, he was so excited, so happy to have this new baby. Wanted to just lick him and kiss him.

And then he went into a depressive state. For the first three weeks, he was like, “Oh my goodness, my parents don't love me anymore. They're just taking all their time on this new baby.” The picture I shared is when he was in the throes of that depression, but now he’s figured it out and fits in beautifully.

A Mother’s Wish

When I saw her at my six-week postpartum visit, I actually sent Dr. Swift a thank you in the mail with pictures of Luke and us, and I asked her if she got my thank you, and she said, “Yeah. And it made me cry, and I'm not kidding.” We sat there and we cried together, we hugged each other, and I just told her, “You feel like family. I know you have kids of your own. There's no reason you needed to stay there for me.”

And she said, “I know that it would have made all the difference for you if I wasn't there, and so I needed to be there for you.”

That's just her, you know. I don't feel like everyone gets that experience of genuinely feeling like their provider is family, and that's how she feels.

I wish every person could have the same experience.

One Final Thought

They say the second they put the baby on your chest, it's a love like no other. And that’s just how it is.